Behavioral Changes

ACCIDENTAL SLIP UPS

No matter how hard someone tries to cover up something they are more than likely to slip up at some stage. With so many lies being told, how is your partner going to remember everything they have said?

Getting confused with what they said they were doing and what they did is going to cause a slip up at some stage.

Don’t let these slip ups just pass on by. Your partner is probably going to tell another lie to cover up their mistake. Don’t believe them. When they let their guard down a little because they are feeling confident that they aren’t going to get caught, and they feel they are fooling you very easily, then this is when they will happen.

If your partner accidentally calls you by someone else’s name, especially if they have been talking about this person a lot, don’t take it lightly. They would have been thinking about their lover while they were talking to you. They may have even been picturing you as their lover. Even worse during sex when relaxation and ecstasy takes over their mind and they mistake who they are with.

Don’t let your partner just brush over it by saying it didn’t mean anything. Listen hard from now on when your partner talks about this person, especially if they say they have been out with their friends but talk about their lover as soon as they get home.

Being seen out with their lover in public by a friend or family member when they said they were at work or out with friends is absolute proof they are having an affair. If they try and cover it up or don’t want to talk about it, tell them that they owe you an explanation and you won’t let it rest till you are happy.

Your husband comes home with lipstick on his collar or body and smells like women’s perfume. Don’t accuse him of anything.

Just mention that there is lipstick and see what his reaction is. Sometimes expressions say more than words. Even if they say it was from a college student being silly or a drunken girl at the bar, it doesn’t matter because by that stage you should have been able to read their reaction.

Perhaps your wife starts wearing new underwear, perhaps a much racier style than usual. Make a note of mentioning how you like it, play around with it a bit. This will start to make them really nervous, especially if it reminds them of their lover and you are playing with it.

Do they wear the new lingerie for your benefit, and make a point of showing you, or is it something that you notice hasn’t been mentioned? Consider why they might wear new lingerie and not share it with you.

Take the time to notice the small things, like how their hair is arranged, and if it appears to be more tousled than usual. Similarly, is your wife wearing any new necklaces, bracelets or watches?

Check your phone messages regularly to see who is calling. If you have a caller display on your home phone, you may be able to see who the incoming and outgoing calls are coming from, and identify how often numbers are being dialed.

Make a note of the things your partner tells you. You may want to keep a journal or diary with notes so you can check later if their story matches what they had told you earlier.

Changing lies can be quite common, because they will have forgotten what they said they make up another lie. Pull them up on it, come straight out and ask them why they are lying. The thing about lies is that its hard to be consistent and tell the same story twice. If you take notice of what your partner is saying, you will be able to quickly identify whether or not they are lying. The trick is to listen carefully.

Friends may accidentally tell you something that you aren’t supposed to know or something that doesn’t tally with what you have been told. Act as if you have never noticed, and ask indirect questions in a casual way that might get you some more information. The key is to not let on to anyone that you are suspicious. Either way, pretend to go along with what is being said while making mental notes.

A cheating partner will probably always have an alibi for when they go out. If their alibi rings or you see them out without your partner and they act surprised and guilty to see you, you should have every reason to be suspicious. Its not concrete proof, but it’s a very good indication.

Friends or colleagues may tell you they ran run into your spouse and their lover on the other side of town having a romantic lunch. If its somewhere far from the office, or if your partner isn’t in a job where they have time for business lunches, you have every reason to believe something is not right. Again, it’s worth further investigation.

Hickeys, bite marks, and bruises. As tacky as they are they can be rock hard evidence. Lovemaking can get quite passionate and physical, and it’s not uncommon to get bruises in funny places! Look out for any kissing rashes and cold sores if they never get them. These can both be evidence of other partners. If they tried to cover them up it means they can’t pretend like they didn’t know they were there or they were innocent.

Phone calls that are taken outside the room. If your spouse feels the need to leave the room while they are speaking on the phone, the very least you are entitled to is an explanation of who it is. If the calls are happening on a regular basis, it’s definitely something worth monitoring.

You come home from work early and find your spouse’s car parked in the drive way. You go inside to find your partner and ‘friend from work’ alone in the house together. This may require some explanation, especially if you weren’t aware it was going to happen. You may want to come home early from work more often

Of course if you actually catch them having sex there is really nothing more to say. There is no explanation that will get them out of this one.

No matter what kind of slip up your partner makes, if you are keeping a journal of your thoughts, and the excuses offered by your spouse, soon enough patterns may emerge. It may be something as small as them saying they got held up in traffic, though it always happens the same day each week. It may be gym clothes that never seem dirty. It may be a receipt from a different part of town to where you were told they were. The key to being informed is being aware. This means you should always listen to those around you. If you have reason to be suspicious, you might be surprised at what you can learn.

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