Welcome…..

A message to the betrayed spouse….

No doubt you have spent countless hours online searching for answers. I hope this website can add to your understanding of affairs, and provide you with some resources to take action on.

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A message to the “cheating” spouse….

It takes strength of character to admit you have been unfaithful and express intention to save your relationship. Good people in good relationships do have affairs. You are not alone.

I’m a strong believer that we all make mistakes. If you are being honest with yourself, I’m sure you can think of many things you would do differently if you could, not only in your current relationship, but also throughout your life. Successful people understand that life is a huge learning curve. The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that successful people keep trying until they succeed. This is exactly what I am asking of you.

Even if you are unsure about the future of your current relationship, it is very important to understand WHY you decided to cheat in your current monogamous relationship. If you do not take the time to understand your actions, and yourself, you will find yourself in the same situation again.

Nobody comes into my office saying their goal was to have an affair. Nobody says they meant to hurt their partner. Most people acknowledge that the affair was a selfish act designed to meet their own needs without consideration of their partner.

If you’re ready to keep trying until you succeed in your relationship, you’ve found the right place to get the tools to help you succeed.

The goal of my advice is the same as the goal of my 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Program. Stick together until you are less emotional!

Family and friends may be telling you to ‘throw in the towel.’ I believe this is not the time to give up! This is the time to find out if your marriage can be enriched by the work you can do to help your partner, and your relationship, recover from this wound.

If you cheated, you will vacillate between feeling guilt, rage, and remorse. You also may feel depressed and quite lonely. Giving up is the easy option, but choices can harden into character, affecting us the rest of our lives. You can break that ‘give up and start over’ pattern and be a better you, in a more rewarding relationship!

The person that you fell in love with is still the same person but now feels wounded. It’s time to mend those wounds, and then from a place of love the two of you can decide the next steps in your relationship. Working through the affair issue in a structured and respectful manner is essential. It is better to walk away from your relationship with empathy and respect still intact, rather than dwelling together forever in revenge and hatred.

Don’t give up yet. The best time in your relationship can be ahead of you.