The causes of infidelity are complex and varied. Affairs can occur in happy marriages as well as in troubled ones. Here we look at the various affair types and provide a basic treatment strategy for that affair type.
- AKA: The One Nite Stand Affair
- Intimacy avoidance affair
- Conflict avoidance affair
- Royal Affair
- Romantic Affair
- Mid-Life Crisis
- Coming Out Affair
- AKA: Out The Door Affair
- AKA: Sex Addict
Determining your affair type
Take the Affair Type Quiz. This quiz will help you do a quick analysis on the type of affair.
I would encourage you to read the descriptions of each affair type and then determine which one best characterizes your experience. You may notice, your affair condition fitting into several categories and this is entirely possible.
Affair relationships, like any other relationship, do not follow a consistent pattern. For example, what may start out as a “one night stand” has developed into an avoidance affair.
As you are here to find answers to why you were unfaithful, or to why your spouse was unfaithful, I ask you to take a deep breath before you begin. Try and let go of your need to fit into a category perfectly.
The Infidelity Recovery Institute has a treatment plan for each of the 7 affair types. However, you will notice that the treatment plan will not be available for public viewing as the content is sensitive (especially to an individual who has been betrayed).
Trained and certified IRI professionals are able to provide you with the support and guidance to help you process these deep emotional wounds.
Emotional affairs, which do not include sexual contact, are also affairs. Although the dynamics are similar, the lack of an overtly sexual component means that the volatility and sense of betrayal is substantially less.
For example, I have found men to be more forgiving if the wife had an emotional affair, over a sexual affair. The sad reality is, that it is more difficult for a women to end an emotional affair over a sexual liaison. Emotional affairs are sexual affairs in the making. I choose to treat and classify emotional affairs, with the affair message they are sending.
Though it is not quite as serious as being with another person, financial infidelity can cause similar issues in regards to trust. Not only do you have to work through this aspect of the relationship, you usually have to work to get out of a financial mess that happened as a result of the financial infidelity.