Step 4: Sex & Intimacy

Step 4: Sex & Intimacy

 

Sex & Friendship in a relationship are as necessary as Air & Water. Without these two elements, the relationship is a ticking time bomb.

Not all relationships will be ready for sex, but they need to introduce intimacy immediately.


Step 4 Sex & Intimacy https://www.udemy.com/the-7-step-infidelity-recovery-couples-course/

The couple may be in pain, but that will not prevent unmet needs from being satisfied.

If unmet sexual needs are left unsatisfied, it could mean continued infidelity.

It is the role of the Infidelity Recovery Coach to help the couple re-engage in their sex life by providing education and appropriate couple exercises.

Most couples need education and training to learn what is “healthy and normal” in the bedroom.

 

 

To understand the motive to engage in sexual activity, one must have a basic understanding of the Sexual Response Cycle. Read More here.

In the IRI 7 Step Course, Sex & Intimacy has its own Affair Recovery Step, because Sex & Intimacy is a major component of what keeps a relationship alive & monogamous.

Relationships that do not have a healthy sex life WILL BE IN RISK OF FUTURE INFIDELITY.

Especially for men, sex is normally in the top 3 emotional needs.

Common Sexual Rebooting Exercises in Step 4:

In the 7 Step Infidelity Recovery Program, the Certified Infidelity Recovery Specialist and the couple will work through some of the following tasks – taking into considering the affair type:

  • The Intimacy Pyramid
  • Intimacy Monologues
  • Intimacy Interview
  • Sexual Touch
  • Non-Sexual Touch
  • Foreplay Mapping
  • Dating
  • Bedroom Environment
  • Re-establishing a sex life

 

How can I ask my partner about his/her sexual desires?

It is an amazing fact, that most people do not feel comfortable talking about their sexual desires with their spouse. Yet we know “sex” is everywhere in our daily lives. Many people form an opinion of their spouse, where they believe their spouse will not feel comfortable with dirty talk. Others feel their sexual thoughts and desires are “too dirty” to be expressed at all!

Here is where the secrets start. The need for sexual conversation exists, yet their is no perceive outlet. So the frustrated spouse leans into the exciting, unknown, and taboo area, of expressing their needs and desires to another person.

Imagine if a couple could share sexual thoughts with each other!

In the 7-Step Infidelity Recovery Program, a couple will look at the sexual health of their relationship – past and present. Here is an activity you can try at home to begin Intimate Conversation, and to understand each others sexual needs.

 

Intimate Conversation Exercise

on Sexual Variety

For each item, verbally rate each idea on a scale of 1 to 10

1 = EASY     to        10 =  UNACCEPTABLE

The idea is to keep an open mind and do not criticize what your spouse says. Accept the answer and move to the next item.

 

Ride ’em Cowgirl (woman on top facing man’s feet)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Initiating
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex from Behind
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Mouthing “I want you” at a party
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Fur handcuffs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Blindfolds
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Vibrators
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Coming between her breasts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Elegant lingerie
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Having a “no orgasm” sex play rule for one night – tantalizing each other
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex in a parked car
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Fellatio while driving
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Cunnilingus kneeling over his face
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex standing up
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Talking Dirty
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Oral Sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Bra and panty set
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

G-string
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Leather
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Dominance or submission games (one of the partners is the “sex slave”)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Whips and spikes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Pornography
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sharing Fantasy

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Dressing up
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Role play
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex in the living room

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex on the table

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex on the floor

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Picking your spouse up at a bar as a stranger
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Anal Sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Naked on the front porch
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Saying the “F” word
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Fingering your wife at the movies or in an airplane
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Mile-high club
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Oral sex in the garage
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Spanking
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Lock on the bedroom door
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Subtle touches in public
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Light Bondage
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Kissing in public
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

“Sexting”
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Tied hand and legs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Woman on top
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Butt plugs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Giving her oral sex while she looks out the front window at night (no backlight!)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Phone sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

“Forgetting” to wear underwear and telling your husband
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Wear boots and nothing else in bed
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Heavy metal rock and roll music to make love to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Nora Jones background music
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Candlelight
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Bathing together
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Daylight sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Morning sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Afternoon delight
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Tight jeans
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Tramp stamp tattoo
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex outside in nature
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Anal play – Male or female
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex on the beach under blankets
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex toys
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sex lotions and potions
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Using a different sexual language
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Showing your partner how you masturbate
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Backrubs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Buttocks massage
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Genital massage
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Public hair trim/wax/shave (both genders)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Saying I love you
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Asking for cuddling
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Sucking on your partner’s toes
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Wearing a silk jock strap

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Buying a silk jock strap

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Wearing nipple tassels

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Using edible powder, chocolate sauce, whipped cream
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Giving oral sex while alternatively sipping hot tea and iced tea
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Multiple positions in the same night
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Multiple orgasms
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Tantric sex (prolonging release for hours)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Buying lingerie
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Garter belts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Biting
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rough, fast and furious sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Ripping clothes off
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Getting drunk and having sex
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Talking while making love
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Looking into each other eyes when orgasming

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Belly button ring
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Fishnets
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Stilettos
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Touching your partner with your toes under table in a restaurant

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Other – Her Choice

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Other – His Choice

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10


Continue to Step 5

 

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