The books listed below are considered the Top 5 most helpful books on processing marriage infidelity.
- NOT “Just Friends” : Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
- After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
- The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity by Scott Haltzman, MD
- Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On — Together or Apart
- The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Dealing with Affairs
Another consideration when choosing a book on this affair recovery is to note if the book carries a heavy “Christian” tone, as this may not suit your beliefs or you may not wish to add another level of complexity to affair recovery. Many of the top-selling books are from leading Christian authors, and these books are well written and extremely beneficial. These books include:
- Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs
- I also recommend the workbook as an excellent self-help affair recovery tool
- His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
General Recommendations:
Recommended Books on Affair Recovery
Recommended Books on Love Mapping
Recommended Books on Relationship Communication
Recommended Books on Sex Addiction
Affair Recovery Help for Children of Cheating Parents
Parents who Cheat
The Loss of Trust When Parents Cheat
by Dr. Ana Nogales
with Laura Golden Bellotti
Available in English & Español
When a child of any age discovers that one parent has cheated on the other, that child suffers a profound loss of trust. He or she can no longer take anyone at face value and constantly anticipates betrayal. The following comments are from adult children, ranging in age from twenty to fifty, for whom the feeling of “deep mistrust” is an ongoing issue.
When your parents sexually betray each other, you are often left with a host of emotions that reverberate well into adulthood. Shock, rage, shame, confusion, loss of trust—these are common responses of those whose parents were unfaithful. It is no wonder, then, that an adult child’s romantic relationships will be deeply affected by a parent’s broken vow.
Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful
How to rid your relationship of the 3rd party
Love Must Be Tough
One of the most difficult personal situations you may face during affair discovery and recovery, is when your spouse is still in contact with the 3rd party. Or perhaps it is you who can’t break free from the lover? This book is currently the best in tell you how to rid your relationship from this 3rd person.
I recommend buying the audio book version, and play this as frequently as possible, so you can digest the words over and again during this time.”Dr. James C. Dobson squarely addresses the problem of troubled marriages. He targets infidelity, alcoholism, spousal abuse, and emotional distance as the primary causes of divorce.
With his groundbreaking theory of “loving toughness”, he offers a path toward solving marital problems, building family values, and rekindling lost romance.”
- Amazon Hardcopy
- Audio Book Version
Improving and Re-inventing Your Sex Life
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW has a wonderful book called The Sex Starved Marriage, and many sex therapists suggest this book as recommended reading for couples.
The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple’s Guide
For male clients – I also recommend these two audio books. Commonly, women begin to reject their husbands sexual advances over years of marriage, until one day, the marriage is sex free. The couple will either fall into two groups – those who argue about anything, and those who do not argue at all. The truth is that without sex and intimacy, there is no “glue” to keep the relationship emotionally secure
- Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
- The Sex-Starved Husband’s Guide: Get unstuck, win her heart back, and reignite your sex life
For women whose husbands do not desire sex, often you will need to rule out medical issues. If there is no medical issue to blame for a lack of sexual desire “The Sex-Starved Wife” is my recommended book.
Setting Boundaries
I know, I know. You hear us Clinical Psychologists talk about boundary setting all the time. Boundary setting helps you express yourself in clear terms, so you can co-exist with others authentically. During affair recovery, boundary setting is especially important for all parties.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.
This is a different type of book to help couples process through infidelity. Each partner gets a journal and within the journal they are each doing individual processing and then coming together for collaborative processing.