Getting Help
Treatment generally includes a combination of individual, marital, and group therapy. Key tasks for recovery include breaking through denial, learning about the addiction process, and establishing sobriety. These are not necessarily sequential and most addicts will begin working on several of these simultaneously during the initial phase of therapy.
First Steps
Much of the work in these first tasks is designed to help establish stability for the addict and his or her family. For instance, it is not uncommon for the addict to continue to minimize or deny the extent, frequency and/or damage caused by the sexual acting out. Reading books on the topic, attending self-help groups with others facing the same addiction, or working on a sexual history can help the individual more fully recognize the need for help.*
Sexual Sobriety?
Many therapists will require the sex addict to abstain from sex for a period of time. Other therapists may suggest other strategies. For those who require the establishing of sobriety, it can often be a difficult task. Defining sobriety can be challenging because complete avoidance of all sexual behaviors is usually not the goal of treatment.
Identifying the specific behaviors to be sober from is critical. In addition, addicts must recognize the people, places, emotional states, and relational dynamics that trigger them into the addictive process and which need to be avoided or more effectively managed. If one’s primary form of acting out is via the Internet, computer usage can be limited to certain times or places, and filtering or monitoring software can be used. A detailed plan of action for recovery also needs to be created. This plan can be shared with one’s partner or family as part of an overall process of restoring relational trust.
Group Work
Group work is strongly recommended because it affords the recovering addict both support and accountability. Within 12-step groups, it is common to seek out a sponsor with whom one can work through the 12-steps and check-in regarding sobriety. Such groups often provide the added benefit of increased flexibility (more groups per week, different hours, locations, etc.) at no cost. This is particularly helpful when encouraging the addict to have daily contact with somebody regarding recovery, which is important during the initial phase of treatment.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is also an essential part of recovery. A spouse or partner may fail to see the need for his or her involvement. Initially, the goal of couples therapy is to stabilize the relationship and help the spouse work through the trauma they have experienced. The ultimate goal is to establish a desired level of intimacy, both sexually and non-sexually. An important goal is to help the couple restore trust in the relationship through a process of apology and forgiveness.
Read More About Sex Addiction on this site:
- Treatment for Sex Addiction
- Spouses of Sex Addicts
- Porn Addiction
- Criticism of Sex Addiction
- Sex Addiction & Pornography Addiction
Recommended Books on Sex Addiction Concerns
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My husband is act I g out in suspected affair but has denied it very defensively.In the past he has viewed porn before marriage. He has been clean from crack cocaine for 3 years. He also had emotional affair and acted out seeking sexual ,favors at pre vious job. Which was later told to me which he has denied. He never told me. He refused marriage counseling . So I wentt to counselling, and now involved with S-Anon. But don’t know how this affair is going to be revealed so he cant tdeny it. He is sexually anorexic with me.Please advise. Great pain to see signs of act I g out but no proof.