Lie detection 

Various Methods & Clues used in lie detection

When confronting your partner about their infidelity, it’s hard to tell whether or not they are telling the truth. It’s this uncertainty that can be the hardest thing to deal with. Not knowing for sure that your partner is telling the truth can lead to further mistrust and withdrawal.

It’s necessary then, when you confront your partner about their infidelity, to be able to identify whether they are telling the truth or not. In some respects you need to become a human lie detector. This isn’t as hard as it may sound. There are visual clues and subtle changes in voice patterns, tone of voice and body language that can almost always give away a liar. The trick is to know what these subtle changes are and to be able to look for them in your partner. It is important to know a few methods and clues about lie detection.

The differences in how men and women lie.

To be able to better understand lying behavior in your partner, you first need to be able to understand the differences in how men and women lie.

  • Men tend to lie to make themselves look good, whereas women lie to conform to what they believe are society’s expectations of them. What is meant by this is that men lie to make themselves look good in their own eyes, regardless of what society’s expectations may be.
  • Women, on the other hand, tend to lie to conform to society’s expectations or other’s expectations of them. In this respect, women tend to very much care what others think and are guided to lie to meet others expectations.

How to become a Human Lie Detector

How to become a Human Lie Detector . A 15 minute video by Derek Banas

Key Identifiers

It doesn’t necessarily take one to know one. But you can spot differences in behavior that point to your partner trying to cover something up.  However, in order to do this accurately, you need to know your partner pretty well.

If they are usually a fast talker and they are now sitting in front of you and speaking slowly and carefully, you have every reason to think that something is not right. If they always look you in the eye and they are looking everywhere other than in your eye, you may want to get the truth out of them. If they are usually very calm and they are now very agitated and twitchy, you may have reason to believe that they are hiding something.

It can be as obvious as this, or it may be something very subtle, like a twitch or a nervous habit that develops, like scratching or playing with their hair, or tapping their feet. The key is to identify things that are out of the ordinary. If you confront your partner, you should be able to look closely for subtle changes in their behavior as they are trying to answer you. If you have caught your partner by surprise, they will be thinking quickly to cover their tracks. Its in doing this that the most noticeable changes will occur. The most obvious changes will be in their body language.

Body Language

Actions speak louder than words. The way your partner reacts physically to a confrontation will illustrate clearly whether they are covering something up or not. There are a number of physical gestures and partnernerisms that may differ from the norm that will betray a person’s words. So long as they differ from your partner’s normal reactions, you should make a note of them.

They may include:

  • Crossed arms
  • Legs crossed when sitting
  • Rapid eye movements
  • Constant fidgeting
  • Rubbing eye
  • Eyes focused to the right (indicates they are using the creative side of the brain)
  • Playing with hair
  • Tugging ear
  • Touching face, such as lips, mouth, and nose
  • Holding an object, or gripping a knee or arm or ankle while seated
  • Looking upwards
  • Language and expressions don’t match what is being said
  • Tapping feet
  • Drumming fingers
  • Constant scratching

Although some may tell you that a lack of eye contact is a dead giveaway of a liar, partnery people have been conditioned to look people in the eye in order to psych-out their opponents.

Behavior and Attitudes

You may notice a change in their behavior and attitude in a confrontation. Again, the key is in identifying differences. You may notice changes such as:

  • Being hesitant
  • Smugness
  • Nervous laughter
  • Uncommon sense of calmness
  • Inconsistencies in their story
  • Providing more information and specifics than are necessary


A person trying to explain their way out of a situation by lying will be acting defensively, and thinking very quickly to come up with a plausible story that you will believe. In doing so, they may inadvertently give away clues that they are lying. They may include:

  • Changes in the pitch of their voice, either lower and slower, or higher and faster
  • Changes in the speed of their speech
  • Constant denial of accusations
  • Attempting to distract you by interrupting your conversation
  • Unusual choice of words or sentence structure
  • Stalling the conversation with pauses, and “um”, “you know”, and “well”
  • Emphasizing the word “not” when talking

(Note: Always take into account cultural traits)

Lie Detectors

As well as being able to identify changes in behavior and body language, technology has further helped take the guesswork out of determining whether your partner is cheating.

It’s not necessary to wire your partner up to a big cumbersome machine and interrogate them as to their secret life. Technology has made the process a whole lot simpler.

You are now able to analyze your partner’s speech to determine the level of stress. The portable analyzer uses multiple samples of sonic waves from your partner to build a profile. The more of ten you get sample clips from your partner when they are speaking normally, the more accurate the analyzer will be.

The stress analyzer is able to determine when there are variations in the pitch and flow of your partner’s voice and displays levels of “truth” and “stress.”

This YouTube video demonstrates the computer voice stress analyzer technology in action.

This device is not as accurate as a polygraph machine, and is not designed to replace it. But in building a voice profile of your partner on this machine, you will be able to identify when your partner’s voice pattern does not fit their standard pattern of behavior. Still, some articles* are reporting police agencies are using the voice stress analysis over the polygraph tests

Nearly 1,800 U.S. law enforcement agencies have dropped the polygraph in favor of newer computer voice stress analyzer (CVSA) technology to detect when suspects being questioned are not being honest, according to a report from the National Association of Computer Voice Stress Analysts.

Among those that have already made the switch are police departments in Atlanta, Baltimore, San Francisco, New Orleans, Nashville, and Miami, FL, as well as the California Highway Patrol and many other state and local law enforcement agencies.

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