ESFP – Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
The Performer
As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.
ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.
ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people’s well-being. They’re usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.
ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their actions.
For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They’re constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people’s senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.
ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.
The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they’re likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.
ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and routine. They like to “go with the flow”, trusting in their ability to improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with “hands-on” experience, rather than by studying a book. They’re uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn’t developed their intuitive side, they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where they’re allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they “learn by doing”.
ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they’re likely to have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They’re likely to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food and good wine.
The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of diversity, as well as people skills.
ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other types. They’re likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature as well.
The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be with. They’re flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the moment.
ESFP Relationships
ESFPs are fun and delightful to be with. They live for the moment, and know how to make the most of each moment. They are genuinely, warmly interested in people, and love to make others happy. They’re usually very kind-hearted and generous, and are always going out of their way to do something nice for someone. Their affection is simple, straight-forward and honest. They dislike theory and complexities. They often resist forming relationships which require them to function on a high Intuitive or Thinking level. They prefer for things to be light and happy, although their warmth and affection runs deep. Their potential downfall is the tendency to live entirely for the present moment, and therefore to sometimes be unaware of the direction that their relationship is heading, or to be easily distracted from long-term commitments.
ESFP Strengths
- Enthusiastic and fun-loving, they make everything enjoyable
- Clever, witty, direct, and popular, people are drawn towards them
- Earthy and sensual
- Down to earth and practical, able to take care of daily needs
- Artistic and creative, they’re likely to have attractive homes
- Flexible and diverse, they “go with the flow” extremely well
- They can leave bad relationships, although it’s not easy
- Try to make the most of every moment
- Generous and warm-hearted
ESFP Weaknesses
- May be frivolous and risky with money
- Tend to be materialistic
- Extreme dislike of criticism, likely to take things extremely personally
- Likely to ignore or escape conflict situations rather than face them
- Lifelong commitments may be a struggle for them – they take things one day at a time
- Don’t pay enough attention to their own needs
- Tendency to neglect their health, or even abuse their bodies
- Always excited by something new, they may change partners frequently
ESFPs as Lovers
“To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive – to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.” — Rollo May
ESFPs embrace their love relationships in a Big way – similar to the way they approach their lives in general. They love to be in love, and will try to make the most of each moment. They take things on a day-by-day basis, and are uncomfortable thinking too much about the future, or making plans far in advance. For this reason, ESFPs are not natural long-term commitment people. They may feel tremendously committed on a day-by-day basis, but they do not naturally plan for their futures.
This commitment issue is a potential pitfall for the ESFP. Many people of this type overcome this potential weakness, and become involved in truly satisfying, lifelong relationships. Others do not address this weakness, and move from relationship to relationship without forming real commitments, convincing themselves that this is what they truly want.
Sexually, the ESFP is a very earthy and sensual individual who seeks and enjoys intimate contact with their partners. Living in the here-and-now, they throughly embrace and enjoy the experience with all five senses. They are generous and warm, and highly interested in making their partners happy.
ESFPs tend to be materialistic, and somewhat caught up in “what others think” of them. They should take care that this doesn’t interfere with their personal relationships, since many of the others types will not be able to relate to their perspectives on these matters.
ESFPs do not handle conflict well at all. They take any sort of criticism very personally, and consider it to be a general indictment of their character. They may react with anger and harsh words which they would later like to take back. ESFPs would do themselves a favor if they would come to realize that criticism can be looked at constructively, rather than destructively. If they can hear criticism without feeling personally threatened, the ESFP will have come a very long way towards greatly improving the strength and health of their relationships.
ESFPs are extremely literal and concrete when communicating. They say things in a very direct, abrupt manner, and can sometimes even unintentionally seem quite harsh. They like things to be communicated to them in a similar, concrete fashion. They dislike theory and abstraction, and will frequently misunderstand the jist of a communication if it is not communicated in a factual, present-tense manner. Discussions regarding the future or the past are not the ESFP’s strong suit, and in fact they’re likely to miscontrue future-looking statements as something that needs immediate attention. When they discover that the discussion is not regarding an immediate concern, they become disinterested.
ESFPs are in general very warm and giving people, with simple needs and demands from their partners. They just want to be happy, and want to bring happiness to others. They are energetic and popular individuals who will liven up the social life of the couple, and keep many new experiences on the horizon.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ESFP’s natural partner is the ISTJ, or the ISFJ. ESFP’s dominant Extraverted Sensing function is best matched with a personality that is dominated by Introverted Sensing.
Review the other Personality types: