How to Deal with STDs gotten from Infidelity- Part Two

Infidelity and STDs go hand in hand. Learning that your partner has an STD can be scary. According to the Center for Disease Control, combined cases of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia reached an all-time high in the United States in 2018. A new report shows that from 2017 to 2018, the rate of infection has significantly increased.

• There were more than 115,000 syphilis cases.
• Gonorrhea increased 5 percent to more than 580,000 cases – also the highest number reported since.
• Chlamydia increased 3 percent to more than 1.7 million cases – the most ever reported to CDC.

One of the more concerning findings was that there are nearly 20 million new infections each year, and half of those occur among young people (aged 15 to 24). Millions of Americans have an STD and are not even aware of it. Take a moment and think about it. How many persons carry out STD screening before having sexual intercourse with a new partner? How many persons in a monogamous relationship are actually faithful to their partners?

Last week, one of our readers shared how she contracted gonorrhea from her husband. Her story is a typical example of what happens in non-monogamous relationships. Another lady also told me that she contracted herpes from her boyfriend, and she never imagined that he would have it because he was a “neat” guy who looked very healthy. My dear, many persons are battling with different STDs, and you can’t ascertain that through their physical appearance but through a medical test.

I was going through a website where some women shared their STDs experiences. Let us read their stories before considering how to handle STDs while in a committed relationship.

I Am Keeping My Gonorrhea a Secret

“My husband and I have been married for eight years, mostly happy ones, but lately, things have felt colder between us. I wasn’t sure what the reason was and chalked it up to a normal part of being together with someone for 10+ years. But then, a week ago, I started feeling a burning sensation when I went to the bathroom. I figured it was a urinary tract infection as I’ve had quite a few of those, but my doctor ended up diagnosing me with gonorrhea.

I haven’t had sex with anyone other than my husband since we started dating, so I know the only way I got it was from him. And honestly? I don’t even really care that he’s obviously cheating on me. Seeing that positive test result made me realize how done I am with this relationship. So now I’m talking to a lawyer about filing for divorce. But I am getting my revenge: I decided not to tell him about my positive test result and let him figure out for himself that he has it and probably his girlfriend does, too. The doctor said there could be long-term side effects of untreated STDs, so hopefully, he’ll figure it out soon! If not, that’s his fault.”

 

I Had An Affair With a Married Man.

“Two years ago, I started dating a married coworker. I never thought of myself as one of those women, and I knew it was wrong, but somehow, he knew just what to say to me to keep me coming back. Then one night, he said he wanted to take me out somewhere special because he had something important to tell me. I stupidly thought he would tell me he was leaving his wife (like he promised). Instead, in the middle of a beautiful, crowded restaurant, he announced he had gonorrhea. Even worse, he’d contracted the STD from his other mistress, a girl I didn’t even know about. I honestly don’t know which I was angrier about—the fact that he was cheating on me, too, or the fact that we were in a fancy public place, so I couldn’t scream at him.

“I went home, cried myself sick, and then made an appointment to get tested. Sure enough, I was positive. I didn’t have any symptoms at all, so I guess I’m glad he had the guts to tell me so I could get treated right away. My doctor put me on a course of antibiotics, and I’ve been clean ever since.”

 

How to Handle STDs in a Relationship

 

Always Ask For STD Screening

I always tell couples that the best time to go for STDs screening is before you start having sex. However, it is also necessary to repeat those tests every year. This is because some STDs stay in the body for a very long time before symptoms start manifesting. Asking for STD screening doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your partner. It means that you care about their health condition. I understand that such a conversation might make your partner feel awkward, but all the same, it has to be addressed. Choose a perfect time and bring up the topic. If you have done your tests earlier, you can start by sharing your results then encourage your partner to also go for testing.

What if you have got an STD?

Be honest about it. There is no point hiding something that would be discovered eventually. Besides, the earlier your partner knew about it, the better. If you truly love someone, you would care about their health, so that is why you must tell them your status. During the conversation, be calm and positive-minded. If you feel that an open dialogue won’t be possible, you can inform them through a text message or phone call. Some persons might call off the relationship after receiving such information, but at least, you would have done your part by being sincere.

Say No to Stigmatization:

The reason why most people don’t speak about their STDs is because of the fear of stigmatization. Once your partner has confided in you about their status, don’t stigmatize them. According to American Sexual Health Association, eighty percent of sexually active individuals contract HPV. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 1.1 million Americans have HIV. One in six people between the ages of 14 to 49 has genital herpes. Why am I mentioning these statistics? To let you know that you or your partner aren’t the only ones dealing with STDs. Don’t worry, many people have gone through it and are okay now.

On discovery, don’t always jump to a conclusion. Your partner may have had the disease dormant in their body for a very long time. The fact that the symptoms started showing while they are with you doesn’t mean that they just cheated.

What if your partner refuses to get tested?

Some individuals are very stubborn. I read a message from a lady. She said she had contracted an STD from her husband. The symptoms were severe, so she visited the hospital for treatment. While she was undergoing the treatment, she told her husband to do the same, but he refused. She pleaded with him, but he still insisted that that wasn’t his problem. Due to that, the couple’s sex life has been affected. The wife has lost every sexual desire and affection for the husband. And even when he initiates sex with a condom, she is always afraid that she might still get infected.

If you found yourself in a situation where your partner is unwilling to go for testing and treatment, then for your health’s sake, steer clear of them. Your health is very important and mustn’t be joked with. The truth is that someone who wouldn’t help you stay healthy might not be the best person to be committed to.

How to Treat or Manage STDs

 

STDs, if left untreated, can produce adverse health outcomes such as infertility, ectopic pregnancy, and increased HIV risk. Congenital syphilis – syphilis passed from a mother to her baby during pregnancy – can lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn death, and severe lifelong physical and neurological problems.

Most STDs can be cured, and those that can’t be cured can be managed. Antibiotics can cure syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. In the case of HIV, antiretroviral drugs are given. So having an STD isn’t a death sentence. All you have to do is visit the hospital and speak to a doctor who understands your diagnosis better. He will guide you on what to do.  Also research on it and while the treatment is ongoing, practice sexual abstinence or use a condom.

Conclusion

Dealing with STDs could be very challenging, especially for married folks. If your spouse cheated and got infected, you have to pick between two options. One is to forgive their infidelity and support them while they get treated. The second option is to walk away. Now tell me, which of them would you prefer?

 

You can also read:

Dealing with Infidelity and STDs- Part One

Recommendation:

Are you at the point of losing your marriage because of an STD gotten through infidelity? Would you like to save your marriage? If yes, we are here to help you fix it. Just visit us by clicking on the link below

 

Save My Marriage Today

 

Sources:

• https://www.  womenshealthmag.    com/health/a19959470/std-diagnosis/
• https://www.  medicinenet.  com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=167843
• https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/2019/2018-STD-surveillance-report-press-release.html