Taking the Time to Explore Each Others Deeper Thoughts Assists in Rebuilding Relationship

Readers Affair Recovery Journey

My partner and I have been together since June of 2016 and he’s treated me so good during that time, like a queen! I would’ve NEVER thought he’d have cheated on me in a million years. However, I believe my partner has an addiction, I’m actually a survivor of drug addiction, so I recognize the symptoms.

I made the ultimate decision in deciding to stay with my partner. Most women don’t agree with what I did but IDC what people think of me. It was after many – many days of deep thoughts, loads of tears, high anxiety and PTSD moments! Then after several weeks, I found five videos of them having sex. They were up to a minute each and that’s when my entire world fell apart here was actually proof, before I was able to say to myself that “maybe he didn’t have anything sexual with those people” but here was proof. My heart was shredded and so were my emotions and all of me seemed paralyzed for at least an hour, I believe I was in shock bc I never would’ve thought about my man cheating bc he was not a cheater. You know good people do make bad decisions but that doesn’t make them a bad person. That’s rings true in my situation.

I’d been cheated on in my past before and it never made me feel like it did when my partner cheated. I realized then, that I never loved them. It’s when it’s true love, that it hurts so damn deep inside. I got mad when my past bfs cheated but as it was all I got was mad bc they were disrespecting me and playing me for a fool, it wasn’t bc I loved them. I never recognized though that I didn’t love them until after I was cheated on by the only man I’ve ever been in true love with. My now partner!

He was with me and didn’t cheat until after about a year but then he didn’t ever really want a traditional relationship with feelings involved. He knew early on that I was in love with him bc I told him. I couldn’t keep it secret. I know he secretly liked it and I saw his eyes as he was calling love to me one night and I saw it I saw love in his eyes and I was so elated and happy but I knew he would run from it and he did that! He ran right into the arms of married women. It wasn’t too many but one is too many in my opinion. Married folks right want to leave their partners so they are safe to be with….
He was my bfab (((best friend and beyond – which means beyond best friends, beyond love, beyond seX and beyond any thing you’ve ever imagine))) Look in Urban dictionary and search for (((best friend and beyond))) *** chelle63 wrote a definition for those four words and made a brand new genré for relationships! That’s me!!!

So that’s what we did, we were the poster children of relationships and everyone was jealous of us as a couple bc we didn’t argue (((still don’t))) and we discuss things openly and sexually we were off tha chain – but still my baby cheated on me! I do and I don’t get it. He even says all we had was good but he did feel as if I wanted more from him. I never told him I did but he felt it and that put pressure on him and he felt that he couldn’t talk to me so he went elsewhere to married women. The videos told me one thing and that was HE WAS NOT ENJOYING IT. At first I didn’t see that, I just saw my boo having sex with someone else. But at one point I saw her was looking like a robot in these videos like he was just going through the movements. He told me he wasn’t enjoying it and that I gave him the best sex of all. I wish he would’ve felt that he could talk to me about this pressure he was feeling bc I told him I’m the beginning that nothing would change I’m out relationship unless he was the one who changed it.

At the end of August and beginning of September he connected his feelings of love to me that he was so in love with me. I was there happiest woman in earth that day. This is another reason I wasn’t going to leave him. He needs healing as much as I do but people don’t look at the cheater as needing healing but they do.

I believe the key is: Some women and men are afraid to confront their significant others bc I guess if what they find out but I WANTED TO KNOW AND FIND OUT EVERYTHING AND I DID Yes, it took a huge toll on me finding out stuff but all in all, it showed me that yes, my baby still loves me and he never stopped. This is when I saw signs of the addiction symptoms and realized it was an addiction as well or became one in later years between 2018 and 2023.

Long story short, I found out about his cheating on September 26, 2023 and I found those videos during the middle of October 2023 My partner also have me access to his phone and put his emails on my phone and his FB on mine and his Google acts on mine. With his web activity and location sharing ON. I haven’t checked anything to see if he’s doing anything since I’ve had them in there but I have been on his emails and FB and Google, just never looked at anymore except his web activity since 2018 until now.

We’ve been our own therapist bc we can’t afford therapy plus we don’t want anyone else in our business or in our heads bc if someone messes up our relationship or our heads then it needs to be us and who better to know than us how to fix us. If you really put your mind to it. We downloaded an app called DEEPER TALKS on Google Play store.

NOTE – there are no links in here and no kickbacks to me for sharing this specific app. And if you have a different app that helps you or has helped you, please write down what you used in the comment section below so we can all benefit from your recommendation.

It has been AMAZING and we do at least one a day and we adhere to the rules and we’ve had some awesome intimate talks. We are more emotionally intimate now, more than ever and we are getting ready to move into together this month