Movie Therapy for Couples

Cinema therapy is defined by Segen’s Medical Dictionary as:

A form of therapy or self-help that uses movies, particularly videos, as therapeutic tools. Cinema therapy can be a catalyst for healing and growth for those who are open to learning how movies affect people and to watching certain films with conscious awareness. Cinema therapy allows one to use the effect of imagery, plot, music, etc. in films on the psyche for insight, inspiration, emotional release or relief and natural change. Used as part of psychotherapy, cinema therapy is an innovative method based on traditional therapeutic principles.

In Cinema Therapy, or what has also been called Reel Therapy or Movie Therapy, clients learn to watch movies consciously and reflectively and to pay attention to the story and to themselves. They then learn to understand themselves and others more objectively in the big “movie” of their lives.

Movie therapy can be a great alternative to couple therapy. The key is to choose movies with themes that mirror your current problem or situation.

Plus the benefits of movie therapy are well researched, and it has been proven that couples who participate in watching at least 8 to 12 movies in a structured manner have:

1. significant improvements in their relationship
2. can avoid therapy altogether
3. have a much longer marriage!

“Cinema therapy is the process of using movies made for the big screen or television for therapeutic purposes,” says Gary Solomon, PhD, MPH, MSW, author of The Motion Picture Prescription and Reel Therapy.

“It can have a positive effect on most people except those suffering from psychotic disorders,” says Solomon, a professor of psychology at the Community College of Southern Nevada.

But I have to impress upon the importance of the key principle of effective movie therapy. Simply watching certain movies identified to help with various issues does not in fact produce therapeutic change. However, holding in-depth therapy sessions following, may help to facilitate insight via emotional connection and identification to certain aspects of the movie, which gives the therapist a chance to probe and promote emotional/behavioural change.

Basically, you can’t just watch the movie together and expect the magic to happen. Having each individual share their emotions and thoughts directly after the movie is where the magic happens. And vulnerable discussion but it doesn’t always have to be a deeply vulnerable discussion or a deeply emotional discussion should you not be ready. You could be discussing whether there were any characters in the movie who modeled behavior that you would like to emulate.

TIP – let me share a quick tip because many people struggle with listening. Especially when it comes to your romantic partner, it can be hard to hear that they connected to specific emotional points within the movie in a different way than you. If you truly want to connect with each other, allowing your partner to speak without interruption, without judgement, and without criticism, is the opportunity to understand each other on a deeper level. Listening is far more difficult than speaking, and couples can use this time after watching a movie, and under the boundaries of movie therapy to practice both listening skills and the ability to share vulnerable emotions in a safe space.

Suggested Movie: Couples Retreat

I personally love the movie Couples Retreat. A comedy centred around four couples who settle into a tropical-island resort for a vacation. While one of the couples is there to work on the marriage, the others fail to realize that participation in the resort’s therapy sessions is not optional. What makes this movie so funny is that it totally reflects the reality of our real-life relationships.

In this clip, you see the couple’s first interaction with their counsellor. I had to have a laugh myself, as I see both myself and my clients in many of the scenes. You may be surprised to know that we therapists don’t always say the right thing at the right time, and quite often put our foot in our mouth.

Another scene I found fantastic is the Couple Skills Building clip where Vince Vaugan tells the course director

“We signed up for the are fun stuff with the touchy-feely shit being optional”

Unfortunately, many people enter couple therapy with the idea that if they share the information –  the problem is resolved! However, people only learn through direct experience and being able to process their emotions and feelings during the experience. Nobody likes change, even if we’ve asked for it.

And let’s talk about “Inappropriate Touch!”

Joey (Jon Favreau) gets a little too into his massage. Why? Is he looking for extramarital activity or is he a manipulative narcissist? You can decide.

Next Steps

If you like the concept of movie therapy then this short blog could provide you the inspiration to look into this a little further. Below I will recommend some books for both professionals and for couples. If you would like to find a list of movies and try a movie therapy session for yourself, The Zur Institute has a list of movies.

Dr. Gary Solomon would suggest watching movies for their therapeutic value. Going through a divorce?  “Watch War of the Roses or The Way We Were: See what can happen when communication is lost or your relationship becomes divided because of differences in the philosophy of life, raising children, money, or maybe sex.  Watch as these relationships degenerate over time,” says Dr. Solomon.

Recommended Book & Guide

For Couples:

Reel Therapy®
DR. SOLOMON’S SECOND BOOK, VOLUME 2, ON THE SUBJECT OF CINEMATHERAPY®

 Dr. Solomon, aka The Movie Doctor®, was the first to coin the term ‘Cinematherapy’®.  Dr. Solomon was the first to write on the topic of using movies as therapy.

Who needs a therapist’s couch when you can sit in the comfort of your living room and watch the movies recommended by Dr. Gary Solomon, America’s leading cinema therapist.

In Reel Therapy, Dr. Solomon-The Movie Doctor®-prescribes specific movies for you to watch in order to help you deal with all of life’s emotional problems.

 

 

 

Cinema as Therapy: Grief and transformational film

1st Edition

by John Izod (Author)

Cinema as Therapy will be essential reading for therapists, students and academics working in film studies and looking to engage with psychological studies in depth as well as filmgoers who want to explore their relationship with the screen. The book includes a glossary of Jungian and Freudian terms which enhances the clarity of the text and the understanding of the reader.

 

 

Rent Two Films and Let’s Talk in the Morning: Using Popular Movies in Psychotherapy

2nd Edition
by Jan G. Hesley (Author), John W. Hesley  (Author)

In addition, this updated edition:
* Provides concise descriptions of dozens of popular videos and shows how they can be used as therapy for specific therapeutic needs (divorce, child abuse, substance abuse, etc.)
* Contains a revised organizational structure, covering therapy topics based on patient issues frequently encountered in therapy, including marital problems, parenting, job stress, abuse, and emotional disorders
* Offers suggestions on selecting films, creating assignments, and processing homework
* Provides newly released film reviews, along with 40 additional films with brief descriptions, in the “Therapists’ Film Reference”