My Husband left me because I was Pregnant

I have always heard stories of women whose husbands left them because they were pregnant and refused to have an abortion. Isn’t that weird?  The society will tell us that women are expected to be submissive and obedient to their husbands but a woman who is unable to differentiate between submission and slavery would only be tossed about by her partner.

Today, we shall listen to Jessica as she shares the story of how her husband abandoned her because she took a decision that wasn’t cool with him. It was in the long run that she discovered the actual reason he left her while she was pregnant.

“While growing up, I had many dreams and one of them was to get married to the best man in the world. I prayed so much for the arrival of my Prince Charming but he didn’t come on time. He waited for me to experience seven different heartbreaks before he came into my life.

I was 33 years old when I met Justin and when I first saw him, I was certain that he was the right man for me. We fell in love and got married barely 7 months after our first meeting.  Justin treated me like a queen. His love for me was beyond my expectation; I can actually remember how he made me smile every single second of the day.

HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE A DAD

After we got married, Justin told me he wasn’t ready to be a father.  He narrated that having a child would increase our expenses and be a burden to us. Actually, at that time, I had a good job and was the one paying over 90% of the bills while Justin was jobless. He only did menial jobs which weren’t coming steadily. I had told him that we could still take care of the baby with the income we had but he refused. He said we could only have a baby after he has gotten a good job because he wanted to take responsibility for the child’s needs.  So, we concluded that we would have a child after he’s gotten a better job.

After the first year of marriage, my husband was yet to get a good job. While I went to work, he stayed at home and did the chores. On several occasions, I saw job vacancies and encouraged him to apply which he did but he never got selected. After a long search for a job, he became tired and preferred staying at home all day. Although it wasn’t what I wanted, I accepted to be feeding him and paying his bills.

Two years after our marriage, I had a stable income so I decided that I wanted to have a baby. Besides my biological clock was ticking as I was almost 35 years and yet to have a baby. I decided to discuss it with my partner but he insisted that he didn’t want a baby yet.  “How much longer am I supposed to wait before having a baby?  What if he doesn’t get a good job in the nearest future, would I still wait?” I asked myself. Since I knew I could take care of a baby with my current income, I decided to have a baby without his consent.

THE JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

Few weeks after I stopped taking contraceptive pills, I missed my period.  I remember how those tears of joy dropped down my eyes while I looked at the pregnancy strip…  “How would Justin feel about it?” Would he accept the baby? ” I asked myself. I had heard stories of men who didn’t want babies but became happy when their partners finally got pregnant.  Deep inside, I wished my case would be as same as theirs.

After three months had gone, I told my husband that I was pregnant. I remember how he reacted that evening after I broke the news to him.  He didn’t say much. He only said I should go for an abortion. I pleaded with him, but he didn’t listen to me. A few days later, I noticed he was gradually withdrawing from me. Instead of the usual smiling look, he had this angry and confused look. I tried severally to make him understand my reasons for wanting a baby, but my efforts were futile.

THE DISCOVERY AND ABANDONMENT

I got home from work one day and found a note on the table from Justin. He wrote that he was leaving me because he didn’t want to be a dad. Initially, I thought it was a joke not until I checked his wardrobe and all his clothes were gone.

I remember how heartbroken I was that evening. I tried calling him because I wanted him to explain why he left me in such condition but he refused to pick up the calls.  I cried bitterly that night and couldn’t sleep. The next thing I did was to call his family and narrated what happened. It was during that period I discovered a secret about Justin that I was unaware of before our marriage.

Before Justin met me, he had a girlfriend who had two kids for him. He was supposed to get married to her but he abandoned her just to marry me. So his main reason for not wanting a baby with me was because he already had two kids. Also, I found out that he wasn’t truly in love with me. He married me because of my money. I remembered how he was extorting money from me and I also found out that while he was with me, he was sending the money he got from me to his girlfriend. So, when I got pregnant he decided to leave me and move in with his other baby mama.

The first few days after the discovery was like hell to me. The first stage I went through was the denial stage. I refused to believe that he cheated on me and left. I told myself that Justin was so in love with me so he couldn’t have left me that way. It was very difficult for me to accept.

Justin didn’t leave with only his clothes, he took my pieces of jewelry and withdrew more than half of the money I was saving in our joint account.  He left me heartbroken and without money to cater for myself and the unborn baby.  While I was grieving I decided to abort the baby because I felt the baby’s face would always remind me of her father’s deceit.

On the 5th of October, 2013, I went to the hospital for the abortion. But guess what?  I couldn’t do it. I met a nurse who God used to talk to me. She listened to my story and advised me to keep the child. I’m forever grateful to her. She was the reason why I was able to welcome my beautiful Princess Sara in March 2014. The birth of my baby marked the beginning of good things in my life. While I was still on maternity leave, I got a promotion letter from my employer. The increase in my salary helped me a lot. So as a single mother, I was able to fend for myself and my baby.

THE JOURNEY SO FAR

What gives me joy more is that my Sara only has my resemblance. Each time I look at her, I only see me in her and not her deceitful dad. She is so sweet and kind. She’s my pet too.  She has brought me so much joy and peace while I have given her everything except a dad. There was a day she got back from school and asked me if she also has a dad since most of her classmates often talk about their dads. I told her she has a dad and that dad is me. Being a child, she believes everything I say to her. I’m only waiting for her to grow up before I can share the story of how her parents got separated.

Being a single mother hasn’t been easy for me but I prefer this life to being married to someone who is deceitful, a cheat and doesn’t love you. After Justin ran away that day, he returned later to ask for a divorce which I accepted. It is almost four years since we got divorced and the last time I checked his profile on Facebook, I saw that he was already married to his baby mama and they all seemed to be living happily.