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Why do People Cheat in a Relationship?
Mar
Why did you cheat on your partner? This is one of the unavoidable questions asked after the discovery of an extramarital affair. Over the years different individuals provided their reasons for cheating and some of the reasons were either considered justifiable or non-justifiable. But irrespective of the reason for an infidelity, one thing is always certain; the betrayed partner is always left heartbroken.
On the Reddit website, visitors to the site were asked to share why they cheated on their spouse. Below are some of the comments left.
- “I did it for revenge.”
“My husband cheated on me on several occasions but I forgave him and stayed because of the children. I didn’t want to raise them in a broken home. Also, I had thought that my husband would amend his ways but when he didn’t, I decided to be unfaithful too. I wanted him to feel the same pain I felt each time he went into another woman. When he found out about my infidelity, he was very angry and reported the matter to members of our extended family. Everything got worse and after two months the marriage got shattered.”
-Jennifer
- “He was too busy.”
“While we were dating I knew he was a workaholic. He didn’t have enough time to communicate with me on phone and even when I called he was always busy with work. I had thought that after the wedding we would become closer and he would have enough time for me but I was wrong. During our honeymoon, my husband was working on his laptop all throughout the day. He was given two weeks leave for the honeymoon but we only spent three days because he wanted to resume at the office as soon as possible.
He made me feel so lonely then one day I got chatting with a new guy I met on Facebook. The guy was always there for me and before I could know what was happening I had slept with him.”
– Miriam
- “We were living apart”
“My wife was transferred to work in another state and I couldn’t join her because of my job. Initially, I told her not to go but she refused. After she left, we were communicating over the phone and everything was cool but over time, I started feeling lonely. At nights I missed her kisses and touches. Meanwhile, I had a neighbor who was close to me. At evenings we would hang out together just to have a drink. After a while, I noticed that I had developed feelings for her and that was how I started sleeping with her whenever my wife was away.”
-Josh
- “Something was missing”
“I was with someone for several years but during those years I felt like something was missing. Although he was a nice person, my emotions for him weren’t flowing. Then coincidentally I met someone else whose smile brightened my day. Initially, I didn’t know how to break up with the first guy because he had made lots of sacrifice for me. So, I continued dating the two guys. One day, I woke up and felt that I wasn’t being sincere to myself nor to my partners so I made a decision to end the relationship with the first guy.”
-Vanessa
- “I needed a baby and he was impotent.”
“After we got married, I found out that my spouse was impotent. We were married for more than five years but there was no child. We tried different treatments which were unsuccessful so I made up my mind to sleep with someone else in order to get pregnant. On hearing the news of my pregnancy, my husband was happy. He felt that a miracle had happened but deep inside of me, I knew he wasn’t the father of my baby.”
-Sandra
- “There was no trust”
“Yes, I lost the person I loved the most but it was not my fault. He was a bit stupid and always accused me of sleeping with other men when I wasn’t. Due to his jealousy, he was always nagging every time he saw me talking to any man. Such an attitude made me feel bad so one day I decided that I was going to be that unfaithful partner he said I was. Along the line, I met a handsome man and started having an affair with him.”
-Vivian
- “He abused and disrespected me”
“He was more like a devil incarnate. He was disrespectful and would beat me up on every slightest provocation. There was no way I could remain in love with such an abusive man so I cheated and do not regret it. My new friend treated me like a queen and met all my needs. He was more than an angel. In the end, I got divorced and now I’m very happy with my new partner.”
-Fiona
- “The love had died and he refused to let go”
“After being married for 10 years we realized that there were no feelings left. We were only sharing the same roof as roommates mainly because we needed to keep the family image intact. I wanted to end it and I guess he also felt the same way but we didn’t have the courage to take the step. So, I took the easier but cowardly way and cheated on him with his best friend. ”
-Loveline
We often assume that after an infidelity, the unfaithful spouse should be remorseful for his/her actions. Unfortunately, nowadays over 50 percent of people who cheat aren’t always remorseful and when questioned, they give “justified” reasons for the infidelity. If you asked me, I don’t think there is any justified reason for an infidelity. If you are with a partner who doesn’t treat you right you can sort out your differences and make your relationship work. Meanwhile, in cases where your partner refuses to change and treat you well then you can end the relationship instead of cheating while still in the relationship.
