Post Affair Emotions of the Betrayed Spouse

When you learn that the person you built your life around was unfaithful to you, the sense of betrayal can be almost unbearable. In a single moment, you are ripped from a life you have counted on and felt safe in. You may feel as though the rug has been pulled out from under you and now you are standing on nothing at all. Your relationship was a foundation for your life; now that it is gone, what can you possibly do?

In the midst of this, you look outside for reasons this happened. You demand explanations for what has happened to the life you worked so hard and took so long to build. You tend to focus outward, hoping that something will happen to make the pain you feel go away or, at least, subside for a little while.

More than anything, you probably just want it all to go away. You want to go back to the life you knew, to the life you thought was safe; to the stable life you thought you had with your loved one. If this is what you want, it is possible. In fact, it is possible for you to actually build a better relationship than you have ever had with the person with whom you share your life. But this journey will take some time and effort.

The first step on this path to recovery is to stop looking outside for emotional healing and start looking within. It may seem contradictory at first, but you must accept that the affair has happened and take a careful look at how it is affecting your thoughts and feelings. Once you have done this, you can start to help yourself heal from the emotional trauma you are experiencing right now.

This section is designed to help you make that step.