Cheating Without Sex: Emotional Affairs Hurt Too

Emotional Affairs

Where is the line drawn between faithful and unfaithful? What constitutes “cheating”? The situation is all too familiar: you and your significant other have been having disagreements about an outside relationship you feel may lead to an affair, while your spouse assures you it could never happen.

Many people have long-term friendships of the opposite sex even when they are committed to another person. You might be friends with this person, or maybe you were never dedicated to the relationship from your side. While it is normal to feel a twinge of territorial emotions (i.e. not wanting to share your spouse with another), there are ways to define an outside relationship and steps to ensure the emotional connection you and your spouse share is solid.

The first sign to pay attention to when it comes to your spouse’s relationships with the opposite sex are where the emotional energy is being spent. If your spouse is seeing this person occasionally, perhaps for lunch, or engaging in casual conversation, you likely have nothing to be concerned about. However, if your spouse is spending their emotional energy on this person, meeting them more than a few times outside of work or group occasions, and spending a significant amount of time speaking, a bit of jealousy may be in order, because they maybe having an emotional affair!

Assuming the latter is the case, it is normal to have fears, anxiety, and questions about why your spouse may be spending this time with another person instead of you. This may cause you to wonder what, exactly, is going on and if your spouse will cross the line. You might feel threatened by the intimate connection built outside of the marriage, when the energy needs to be inside your marriage.

Your significant other may not have a physical relationship with this other person, as far as you know, but if they are bonding intimately by being around each other consistently and opening the door of communication, then their relationship may have crossed the line into an emotional affair.

The intimacy your partner is sharing with an outside person dilutes the intimacy you two share together. By letting someone else in to their inner secrets, feelings, and thoughts, they are not seeking fulfillment within their own marriage.

The best way to know if an emotional affair is happening is based on the amount of transparency your partner has about the relationship. If they are hiding contact, speaking in private, or withholding information, it is a form of cheating. Emotional cheating.

Addressing an emotional affair is not easy, and it will require patience from both sides. First, your spouse needs to respect your take on the relationship. Secondly, the two of you need to formulate boundaries if the relationship between your spouse and this other person is to continue. Alternatively, you need agree the relationship between your partner and the person they are so intimate with discontinue.

If your significant other is experiencing an emotional bond with a member of the opposite sex, outside the marriage – they are having an emotional affair. You both need to admit this and accept this will only lead to disaster for both of you.

Keep Growing,

Mira

IRI Relationship Writer

Popular Affair Recovery Resources & Programs

How to Survive an Affair – Over 20,000 customers have used Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s 3-step program to rebuild their relationship after an affair. Discover how this 3-phase program can show you both how to heal the wounds, pick up the pieces and “affair-proof the relationship for good.” Click here to read more.

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