Common Reasons Why Perfect Couples Divorce

Nowadays, the rate of divorce is on the increase. I have seen a three-day-old marriage that crashed. It seems like people are becoming more intolerant, and they go into marriage with a mindset that says, “if this marriage doesn’t work out fine, I will walk out.”

The causes of divorce are different for every marriage. According to a study made in 2003, there are commonly reported causes of divorce among American couples.  While some couples have genuine reasons for opting for a divorce, other immature couples opt for a divorce over a simple issue that could be easily resolved.According to statistics, couples usually divorce in the first seven years of marriage.

So, what year of marriage is divorce most common? It is said that marital satisfaction increases as the couple moves towards their 10th anniversary.

The Austin Institute for The Study of Family and Culture using data from 4,000 divorced adults, identified the top reasons for divorce. Some of them are:

• Infidelity
• Lack of communication
• Incompatibility
• Drinking or drug use
• Growing apart
• A lack of commitment
• Too much conflict or arguing
• Early marriage
• Financial issues
• Differing values and lifestyle

Infidelity

Infidelity has always been one of the top reasons why people divorce. On discovering your partner’s unfaithfulness, you might feel like the world is crumbling right in front of you. This is the same person who had vowed to love and respect you till death. If it happened just once, then it can be easily forgiven and forgotten but repeated infidelity is definitely a reason to leave a marriage.. According to a 2013 study in Couple and Family Psychology, more than half of the 104 divorcees that were interviewed claimed that infidelity was a major reason for the split. 

“My marriage ended after six months when I caught my husband sleeping with my now ex-best friend for the third time. I found out what was going on when I read messages they’d sent each other on his tablet when he wasn’t home. While I forgave him, I could never completely trust him after that. When he asked for a divorce, I agreed to it.”—Cassie L., 39 “When I discovered my ex-husband was having an affair with an office intern, he tried to deny it for several months by accusing me of being jealous and insecure. I knew it was over when I listened to him chat with her over the baby monitor that I’d placed in his home office. While many people suggested that I just ‘look the other way’ until the relationship fizzled out, I knew I could never be ‘that wife.'” —Sheila B., 61

Incompatibility:

When you guys first met, you had some level of compatibility that made you decide to get married. However, after settling down, you started noticing some attitudes that can’t be tolerated. I always hear couples say, “he/she is no longer the person I married.” Everybody changes at one point while journeying through life. Problems start when the couples are unable to adapt to the changes. In the case of sexual incompatibility, age, health status, stress and other factors can influence a person’s sexual performance. For example, some women are usually very active sexually at first, but after having kids, they notice that their libido has dropped, and if their spouse is unwilling to adapt, it could lead to conflicts in the home. Unresolved conflicts would, in turn, lead to a divorce.

Unhealthy addiction:

Any sort of unhealthy addiction can destroy a marriage. Drug or substance addiction is one of the reasons for divorce, especially when one spouse is entirely against it.

“My husband was addicted to drugs. I never knew about it until I caught him red-handed, and that was nine months after our wedding. The worst of it all was spending all his income on drugs and neglecting his financial responsibilities as the head of the family. I managed his attitude for two years, hoping he would change but guess what? He never did. A time came when he lost his job and had no money. He stole from me to buy drugs. He was a total nuisance, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I walked away.“Joy, 35. “I left Jake because he was a chronic gambler. I don’t want to remember all the pain that his addiction caused me. He was someone who would gamble with the last cent on him. It was very bad. After winning any bet, he gambles again until he loses everything. It was very bad as I had to pay all bills.  I prayed earnestly for him to change, but he didn’t, so I had to leave.” – Collete,  40  

Physical, verbal, and emotional  abuse:

No form of abuse should be tolerated in relationships. Verbal abuse takes the form of yelling, blaming, using threats, manipulating, and use of demeaning languages. This abuse damages self-esteem and makes intimacy impossible in the relationship. Physical abuse is very dangerous and should never be tolerated too. “My ex would have killed me if I had stayed any longer with him. The first time he hit me was a year after our wedding. He apologized and said it was a mistake. I forgave him and believed it wouldn’t happen again. I was wrong. Kelvin continued to hit me. The love I had for him blindfolded me for a very long time. I was very shocked the day he stabbed me with a knife. While I was lying down on that hospital bed, I told myself that I was done. Yes! I had wanted to stay because of my kids, but I guess if I had stayed, he probably would have killed me by now.”– Monica, 30“I was married to a man who right from the beginning controlled me. He made me wear makeup (even though I never did before) and picked out my clothes (like dresses I’d never want to wear). He kept me separated from my family and friends and degraded me at every turn. Then, he started physically hurting me and threatened to harm my family if I ever left him. I stayed for two years because I thought I wasn’t worthy or good enough to leave. Then one day, the fear of staying became greater than the fear of leaving. I packed my things in garbage bags and left while he was at work.”—Joanne I., 62

Money issues:

Money issues can strain a marriage to the breaking point. According to Forbes, having conflicting “money styles” can be detrimental to couples. If one person is a spender and another a saver, tensions can arise when trying to decide where your paychecks go. It’s essential to find a way to use differing habits to complement each other. For instance, the saver can be in charge of retirement planning, while the spender is responsible for short-term spending.“

After 32 years of marriage, my breaking point was when my husband and I lost our home to foreclosure. I’d signed for a $26,000 governmental loan to save it, but he couldn’t stop lying to me and spending his money on other women. I had to move into an apartment at the age of 57, and I’m still struggling. I realized I wanted a divorce when I started loving myself again and decided that I’d never let a man treat me like that again.”—Sharon N., 61

Lack of communication:  Is communication really everything in a relationship? In short, the answer is yes. Communication is how couples express their feelings, deepen their marital friendship, build a rapport, and solve problems together. Without these essential skills, couples will be snowballing toward separation. When you can communicate with your spouse, you feel understood in your relationship. Your emotions are validated, respected, and cared for by your partner. A lack of communication breeds distrust, self-doubt, and insecurity, which can be damaging to your bond. A relationship cannot last if communication is missing. Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons for 65% of divorces. 

Saving your Marriage from Divorce

All marriages have their low points. First of all, there are chances that your marriage isn’t all that bad, but it can be difficult to figure out the good things when there is so much discord. Recognize what’s working. You can start by fishing out the positive and negative things. What is that thing that you do that your spouse hates? It could even be something that you neglect to do, your manner of approach, or the way you respond generally.

Change the negative narratives and try to be more positive. Reframing your mindset to be more positive allows for more acceptance and may help rebuild friendship and trust.

Saving your marriage is going to require determination, patience, and self-control. Irrespective of how damaged it may seem, you can turn the situation around if you and your partner work together. What more can I say? It may take months or even years to restore your marriage, so you need to be a little more patient.

Remember that you had vowed to spend the rest of your life with this individual in both good and bad times. So why give up so soon? Hold on a little longer, the change you seek is on the way.

Finally, If your marriage is on the verge of a break, and you have done all you could, we are here to help you fix it.

Just visit us by clicking on the link below Save My Marriage Today 

Source:https://www.prevention.com/sex/relationships/a31085838/reasons-for-divorce/