Do You Really Know Your Partner?

You might think you know your partner really well. While it is fantastic to feel comfortable and familiar with the one you are with, you might know them as well as you think you do. People change every day and it is important to keep an open mind to changes you or your partner may be going through. You might find your partner is completely predicable and this is preventing you from getting to know them more, or on a deeper level, because you think you know everything already.

In order to maintain a healthy, sustainable relationship, you need to make an effort to get to know your partner as time goes on. You can accomplish this by keeping two things in mind:

1. Ask deep questions, often.
2. Choose open-ended questions.

A yes or no question will certainly get you a straightforward answer, however open-ended questions leave room for more questions and allows you to see the inner workings of your partner’s thought process. This does not mean every conversation needs to be philosophical or last for hours, but it is certainly a way to break the ice when you are used to discussing the same, boring topics every day. Practice at least once a day with your partner and see where the conversation leads. What you find out may surprise you!

Here are a few questions to get you started:

Question #1: What would make your life more meaningful right now?

This is a great question to give you ideas on where your partner might be feeling exceedingly content or incredibly lacking in his or her daily life. Maybe they want more and they have not found a way to tell you; or, maybe they are extremely comfortable and this will let them give you reassurance.

Question #2: What is the number one item on your bucket list?

Perhaps it is traveling to a foreign country, or finishing a novel. By finding out the answer, you and your partner can work together to accomplish this goal.

Question #3: What type of animal describes you and why?

A bit more on the light-hearted side, this is a great question to be a little playful with and discover new territory. Perhaps your partner feels like a mouse, but you see them as a tiger. Now is a good time to let them know the parts of them you find most attractive and why you have chosen this particular animal in relation to their personality or physical appearance.

While this may take some practice, have fun with it and delve a little deeper when your partner answers. Allow him or her to expand on the answers they have given and ask new questions as they come up. You may also wish to spark a debate by throwing your own answers in. Of course, both you and your partner’s answers will change over time and it is important to revisit these questions often so you’re always on the same page.

Keep Growing,

Mira

IRI Relationship Writer

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