Conflict relief for your relationship pain

This week our theme is “Conflict Relief.” It’s about getting to the core issue and doing our best to clear it so it doesn’t run our life. Ironically, by talking about ‘conflict relief,’ what do you think happened? We invited more “conflict” in.

In other words, the “storms” are brewing and in order to burn it down, we must learn to welcome all of it.

Why welcome it? So, we can face it, directly. And so we can clear it out efficiently and effectively and get on with our lives, spending that valuable energy on what matters most to us.

You see, conflict is simply another doorway.

Relationship pain is the perfect cocktail to get you to pay attention and wake up out of the ruts, the fog, the noise and the complacency of your life.

Conflict is sort of like falling down and getting hurt.

Let’s say you break a leg. If you didn’t attend to the broken leg, what would happen? You’d be asking for more pain, more suffering, more infections etc, right?

When we don’t attend to our bodies and our health, we invite dis-ease, disease, and more hurt and pain—all designed to get us to pay attention and take better care of ourselves.

Conflict isn’t quite like a broken leg, but I think you get my point. Conflict is just another brilliant feedback loop.

This appears to be the nature of relationship. It invites us deeper into the journey of our life.

It is the nature of nature (and Life), so why would it be different with our intimate life?

We are wild, vast like the wilderness.

We are timid and small like the mouse.

The truth is, many of us behave just like scared animals in a long-term relationship. And, that is perfectly normal and okay….

…However..

…if you never attend to this scared animal, you stay stuck where you are—reacting and fearful.

Your relationships don’t have to stay this way and you don’t have to play it this way.

Contraire mon frère…

You are a human being with an important mission. A poignant signature that is yours to develop and live into.

And, when you can’t, or don’t, learn conflict, you keep playing that old record inside of you, you know, the one that skips all the time, and then you keep getting the same results, right?

It’s not very satisfying to listen to a “broken record.”

After a while, it’s supposed to get boring, mundane, and rote.

If you reach this point, you feel a high level of annoyance and frustration. If you are normal, you might blame others and find fault “out there.” “The record is broken.” “The stereo is a piece of crap.” etc.

But soon enough blaming gets boring too. Complaining gets tiring.

Complaining and blaming drains you and does nothing to move your lives along.

If you grow past that, you might be willing to take a peek “under the hood” of your own mind and to see, feel, or listen to a faint, tiny voice whispering…. to you….

Is it there?

You know that one that bugs you every so often, the one that you might try to turn away from by distracting yourself with temporary “feel good” remedies to mask the pain you are in?

But that little voice is like a lighthouse to a lost boat at sea…

It’s trying to guide you back to shore, back home to your integrity.

But that voice eventually grew louder until…

BAM!

I chose to listen to it.

And. that’s when everything changed.

So my friend, what will you do? What exactly do you want here?

Take two minutes right now and write down one “desire” you have around conflict, put a deadline on it, and commit to addressing it within that timeframe.

Bonus—tell someone else your plan and have them hold you to it.

Next, stay tuned as more conflict relief tools come your way.

I’ve got more exciting news that will dramatically help your relationships coming soon…

…but it’s only for those who want to go further…

…and deeper

…and for those who believe it is possible to get a different outcome, an outcome you long for.

And if this is you, trust me, it will happen.

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Reboot Your Relationship

Restoring love through real communication in s disconnected world

Purchase in store now.

The authors, Joe Whitcomb and Savannah Ellis have decades of research, experience and credentials to support their system of “WE-3″ which take couples through the “I” to “We” journey through:

1. Entertainment (relating can be fun!)
2. Experiential (we learn best by doing)
3. Empowerment (creating stronger “I’s” for an unbreakable “We”)

The book is suitable for couples and individuals alike. The education inside works great for couples in turmoil, if you need a tune up or want to become a more attractive partner for the future. No matter where you are in life (in or out of a relationship), you’ll find great tools and enlightening tactics to reshape your relationship and create a life full of love, connection and joy.

Also available on Amazon – Hardcopy & Paperback