Dating after Infidelity

Nothing scars and scathes like a nasty breakup encounter. It can be scary getting back into the dating scene after a long break. If things didn’t end on a good note, then you may not be sure if you are ready to trust someone new. Here are 10 tips to follow:

1. Hold on until you are ready.

How will you know? It’s a brave decision to make a comeback to the dating scene. It’s unnerving to know when and if you are ready to start dating. You may never feel sure or confident about things like you did in the past. After a heartbreak, you will be like Why do I have this feeling? Where is this horrible feeling from?

When you are ready for a relationship, you : are not afraid of loneliness; have your own interest and friends; you are ready to receive and give love; have a calm reaction when you see other people in relationships; you want to go on dates, and have the ability to say no.

2. Dealing with past relationship(s)

People tend to hang on the faults of the previous relationship. More often, you tend to take responsibility in ‘sabotaging ‘your past relationships. So how do you overcome this?

One thing for sure, to start dating, you need to recognize your contribution in the past break up. This self-awareness helps you understand what good and bad traits you possessed in the relationship.

3. Talk about your feelings.

Then simply confide in someone about your feelings. You could be hurting! Friends and family will listen to you and advise you to recover. They will provide a support system that enables you to express yourself and get a different perspective about those raw feelings. Understanding your feelings is a start to letting them go.

4. Relearn how to date

Where and how do you start dating? What it’s like re-learning love? Worry not. The transition between the two relationships will be eye-opening. After the last relationship ends, many people close their hearts, sealed like a drum and nobody but nobody will ever get inside again. In this phase you need to be open-minded and open up to the possibility of love.

5. Be optimistic

Optimism is all about believing that love will come to you always. It’s about not focusing on the when and if. Optimism means going with the flow. Happy and optimistic people are super attractive. Optimism increases your odds of appealing to the right people. No one loves to date a miserable partner. We are hardwired to love sunshine than storms.

6. Cut ties with your past

You may want to close ‘door to your past fling or exes. Though some studies say it takes half the length of the relationship to get over your ex, don’t let even the ‘booty call’ partner cloud your judgment. It’s time to let them go.

7. Love your own life

Be yourself. Do you. Don’t compromise on your stand when a potential date asks to do something that doesn’t augur well with you. This involves showing your stronger personality and doing what you want with life.

8. Envision a new relationship with no breakup

Think about your next relationship; how you want it to be. Being able to visualize your next relationship, helps you get what you want.  This involves setting standards on the kind of person you want to be with. The vision helps you pick the people you want in your life.

9. Take a leap of faith

Taking a chance in love is the final step that helps you move one. Immersing yourself into the dating arena will show you that there are good people outside there. It might be hard to trust but you’ll redevelop confidence in the goodwill of the new partners. This tip requires your willingness to do so.

10. Reinvent yourself

During the post-breakup period, you get a lot of time to reflect on what you did and what you want. Don’t be afraid to state what you are looking for. There are a number of things to do to reinvent your life. First, change your patterns of meeting people and how you do things. Changing the date venue is key to changing the type of people you want to attract. Much like a business, you’ll need a facelift or an overhaul of yourself. Brand yourself to tell people whichever you are looking for. You should have answers as to why would somebody would want to date you.

11. Choose wisely

Choose your dates wisely; by now you don’t have to put up with people whom you aren’t comfortable with. Being selective with dating people is for your own wellbeing. You should also find the dating platform works best for you. Is it online dating? Choose between speed-dating events or a matchmaker. Figure out what your plan is.

In conclusion, dating after a heartbreaking isn’t a walk in the park. In every way, you will be second guessing your actions or may still be hurting. But you must learn to move forward and towards something better.

 

Author
Hi, my name is Peter and I’m the owner and chief editor of condom-sizes.org, a website which I started back in 2011.