Does a Parent’s Infidelity Affect the Child?

We were told that sexuality is something personal. Yes! I agree but who would have thought that something so personal could affect another individual negatively? Infidelity doesn’t only hurt your spouse, it could also affect the kids negatively.

No matter how infidelity is hidden, children often perceive when something goes wrong in the couple’s relationship. There are some parents who assume that when a little child discovers their infidelity, he might not understand, besides he forgets about it so quickly. That is not true.  Children know that a family is made of a mother, father and siblings so when a stranger comes into the picture, they try to figure out the role of the person.

When they find out the person is their parent’s lover they get heartbroken. Why? This is because children look up to their parents as perfect examples so when their trust is broken, they get hurt and react in different ways.

Let us assume that you aren’t aware of how a parent’s infidelity could affect a child negatively. So, in this post, we shall pinpoint some key ways children respond to infidelity.

They become unfaithful too:

According to Ana Nogales, Clinical Psychologist, fifty-five percent of children who grew up in homes where one or both parents were unfaithful, end up being unfaithful partners too. This is because children often follow their parents’ footsteps.

Their trust is affected:

According to the Huffington Post, 75 percent of the children of unfaithful parents find it very difficult to trust anyone. Why would they trust an outsider when their parents turned out to be a disappointment? Such an attitude, in turn, affects their relationships with people.

They become shameful:

I once had a neighbor whose wife was unfaithful so in a rage, he went to social media and posted news of her infidelity and backed it up with pictures of his wife and her lover. But I guess he didn’t consider the impact of such action on his kids. During that period, I spoke with his 10 years old son and he narrated how painful the incident was to him.

“Everything that is happening in my home makes me cry. My mom and dad are always fighting about one thing or the other and it makes me sad. The worst of it all was when my dad posted pictures of my mum on Facebook to prove she was being unfaithful. When I got to school the next day, I found out that the news had gone viral. All my classmates had pictures of my mum on their phones and they judged and mocked my mum for being unfaithful. My family became a topic for gossip and that made me feel so ashamed.”

Anger and stubbornness:

A common reaction is anger, often towards both parents. The parent who has cheated is blamed and the betrayed parent is questioned for not avoiding the infidelity.  The feeling of anger could make the child withdraw from interacting with people.

Academic failure:

When a child develops depression and anxiety due to a parent’s infidelity, he/she would find it difficult to concentrate in school. That would result in a bad performance in class.

They experience mood swings:

A child could develop feelings of hopelessness, uncertainty, and anguish. Over time this could result in depression, anxiety crises, panic attacks or post-traumatic stress experiences.

Feelings of insecurity:

Children who grew up in homes where a parent was unfaithful often feel insecure. When they grow up and fall in love, they act jealous and overprotective. This is because they are so scared of going through the pain felt when a loved one cheats and decides to leave.

As a parent, you might have “valid” reasons why you don’t love your spouse anymore. You might have “valid” reasons why you should have extramarital affair but before taking that step, take a moment to analyze how your infidelity could change the life of your innocent child. Think! Think! Think again!