Dr. Bob Huizenga – What patterns to break free from after the affair

As a Marriage and Family Therapist and Psychotherapist I’ve spent the majority of my life (over two decades) working with hundreds of couples and thousands individuals experiencing individual and marital problems (such as affairs).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWOBIBe0VO4

I challenge you to get in a quiet place and ask yourself a few hard and tough questions that will affect you (and your children) as you move forward.

There is an uncertain road to healing ahead of you. Affirm yourself and ask:

1. What are YOU worth?

2. What will happen if I stay? What will happen if I leave?

3. Have you identified and owned your part?

4. What has changed within you?

5. What do YOU want YOUR future to look like?

6. What do you do about “Self Care?” Are you eating good, nutritious foods and exercising? How are you sleeping at night?

7. How is your Self Image? (The role of victim should NOT be your role) Our self image has taken a big hit when infidelity occurs. What other roles do you play each day that you are great at doing?

8. Where does your support come from? This group is a great start. Keep in mind that “Hurt People, hurt people.” There is a lot of hurt flowing here. There is also a lot of healing here along with great advice and encouragement.

I hope nobody gets offended by this post. I am not trying to tell anyone how to feel or what to do. Each situation is as different as the unique set of people here. I just wanted to simply ask that you make some time for YOU. To put the hurt, anger and sadness aside for about an hour and really think about your future.

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