Five Reasons Why you shouldn’t Spy into your Spouse’s Device

In relationships we are often tempted to pick up our partner’s mobile phone and take a quick look at his messages or calls.  But do you think it is right to do such? Obviously, the answer is no. Everyone who has been tempted to spy knows it is wrong.

“There are legal reasons, but also very important psychological reasons why you shouldn’t spy on your spouse” says Mila Cahue, a Psychologist who works at Álava Reyes Psychology Center.

In every relationship, maintaining a personal space is fundamental in building a healthy relationship. For this reason if you suspect something wrong, it is better to obtain data from your spouse’s phone through another method without violating his personal space.

Curiosity and wanting to know and control our partner is something very human and understandable. It is also a sign of personal insecurity in the relationship because if you were sure of your position in your partner’s life why would you bother about what he does in his privacy? Well, let’s see some reasons why it is very unhealthy to invade into your partner’s text messages, call log, chats and social medial accounts.

When one seeks, one finds:

Yes! You will find a number called in the middle of the night or a questionable SMS and you would be left in confusion. You might start imagining who it was that he called.

What if you found messages to his ex where he probably told her how being married to you was his biggest mistake. That would hurt you right? So if you don’t want to be depressed, do not spy because there could just be a surprise package waiting for you.

To avoid losing your trust:

Trust should always be one of the pillars in relationships. If you went through your spouse’s device, you could find reasons why you shouldn’t trust him/her anymore and when trust is taken out of the relationship every other thing dies gradually.

It could affect your communication and intimacy:

If your partner discovers that you often spy through his phone, he might start hiding things from you. Those partners that cheat would erase all traces of their infidelity so that when you search you would find nothing. Meanwhile, they might choose not to communicate with you cordially because they aren’t happy about your invasion into their privacy.

To avoid argument

Spying through a spouse’s device has been one of the major reasons for quarrels in the home. A typical scenario would be: the lady gets furious because she found some clues of infidelity on his phone while the man gets furious because she touched his devices. They both scream their lungs out while the kids stay there and watch. Sometimes, the argument could progress into a fight and at the end of the day, the wife realizes that the whole drama would have been avoided if she had respected her husband’s privacy.

It becomes an addiction

You could start with a glance at his history then a spy into his bank account and social media likes and comments. You could go on and on and at the end of the day you would realize how much time you had wasted searching through unnecessary stuffs. Even when your spouse is clean you could still get addicted to checking his stuff and could even get up at the middle of the night to get your spying dose.

Spying is not good for anyone: neither him, nor you because the discovery of a slightest clue could mark the end of your relationship. I read of lady who killed her husband because of a text message she saw. Their marriage was barely two years old. You probably might think she had reacted harshly but she only did that because she couldn’t control her anger. She was sentenced to 10 years in jail and I know that every single day she spends in prison would be a day of regret. Only if she had known, she would have never checked her husband’s phone.