How to Cope When Your Partner Abandons You Through a Text Message

Samantha was in a relationship she felt was sailing on the right track, not until she woke up one morning and found a goodbye note from the same person she had loved with all her heart.

‘I’m leaving you. Please do not call nor look for me because I’m gone.”

After reading those lines, initially, she felt it was a joke so she started calling out her husband’s name as she walked around the rooms. Unfortunately, she got no response. To confirm her fears, she rushed into the bedroom to search his wardrobe. She was very shocked when she found out that all of Jerry’s belongings were gone. 

“What is the meaning of all these? Where has he gone to? Has he been cheating on me all this while? Has Jerry really left me? Was I a bad wife?” Those were the questions that rushed through her brain. Since she couldn’t provide answers she decided to call her husband. At first, it rang severally but he didn’t pick. Then she tried calling again, he didn’t pick up the phone. Guess what he did? He turned it off.

The invention of mobile phones and social media created an opportunity for cowards to break up with their partners without saying it to their face. They hide behind the shadow of their mobile devices to leave a heart-breaking message not minding how the other person might feel after reading the message.

One painful thing about such heart-breaking text message is that the recipient is left wondering what went wrong. He would have many unanswered questions haunting him. While there are some individuals who would call later to explain why they left, there are others who would prefer to disappear into thin air forever. In Samantha’s case, she tried to reach her husband’s family but they told her that he never contacted them. He had just left to an unknown destination.

To recover from such an encounter isn’t always easy. You would experience feelings of fear, anger, uncertainty, rejection, frustration, confusion, etc. It might be possible that he left you because he wanted to end his own life or he left you because he wanted to start a new life without you.

 

So how would you solve the puzzle if you found yourself in such a situation?

1. Carry out an investigation:

Since there are different possibilities, I think you should carry out an investigation to find out where your partner had gone to. If his phone line isn’t reachable anymore, you can ask his friends, parents, siblings, colleagues, or even report the case at the police station. Irrespective of his reason for leaving, you still deserve an explanation to assist you in recovering.

2. Accept that you were hurt:

He left you without saying goodbye. Yes! He broke your heart but you don’t want to cry. Whenever you are hurt, allow yourself to release the pain you feel inside. If you feel like crying, don’t hold back the tears. Release the anger, sadness, frustration, confusion, and pains. Write a poem in your dairy or you can sing a love song.  Write a letter to your ex even though it might never get delivered. Just do whatever that would help you ease off the pains and accept the new reality.

3. Reflect on the relationship:

How well did you know your spouse? Did he really love you as much as you did? Were there some of your attitudes that he had previously complained about? Was he having an affair? Take some time to reflect on the relationship. Enjoy the good memories, cry over the bad ones but don’t cry for so long.

4. Be Positive:

After being abandoned it is always difficult to think straight let alone to think positive. This period is probably a true test of mettle. To start thinking positively, try feeding yourself with affirmations about the positive things in your life. Remind yourself that whatever is behind can’t be better than that which is yet to come.  You can practice yoga meditation to help you develop mental strength and understanding.

• 5. Explore yourself and start again:

Take time to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Focus on rebuilding your self-esteem and self-confidence. You need to be strong and fit physically and mentally in order to start again. Don’t give in to depression, self-pity, worry, and anxieties. They are your worst enemies. Just get up, set new goals, and try to succeed at something. That would enable you to restore your self-worth. Don’t forget to make new friends and be happy again.

Conclusion

Most often a divorce occurs when both parties discuss, agree, and decide to go on separate ways. The worst separation scenario is; when one partner disappears suddenly with no explanation and leaves the other spouse confused.

I know a lady who always disappears and reappears because she knows that her spouse would always accept her back. Only a person who doesn’t respect you would mess with your feelings in such a manner. Besides, I don’t think you should permit such disrespect.

If your partner left you without an official separation, try to find out why he/she acted in such a manner.  If eventually, you are able to contact him/her then you could make attempts to bring him/her back to you but if that fails then the next thing to do would be to turn over to the next chapter of your life.

 Sources:

• https://www.soulfulfillinglove.com/what-to-do-when-he-disappears-and-comes-back/
• http://www.youbeauty.com/love/ghosting-how-to-deal-when-a-guy-pulls-a-disappearing-act/