How to Cope with an Emotionally Distant Partner

Do you sometimes feel emotionally disconnected from your spouse? Does he act cold towards you? Has he stopped expressing his feelings? Has he stopped spending quality time with you? Is he avoiding intimacy? If you said yes to any of those questions, that means an emotional distance has been created in your relationship.

Everyone was born with emotions which are expressed in different ways. Some factors such as; the environment, culture, past experiences, etc. affect the way these emotions are expressed. In our previous post, we talked about how to identify an emotionally distant individual so in this article we shall discuss how to live happily with a spouse who is emotionally distant from you.

1. Find out his reason:

If initially, your partner was loving and expressive then all of sudden he became distant, you should find out the reason for the sudden change. Some men build walls around themselves to hide their weaknesses. In such cases, you will need to make him understand that you love him despite his flaws. When he finds security in you he will open up to you.

2 Speak and communicate your feelings:

At that moment when you have noticed that your spouse has stopped communicating with you, don’t withdraw from him. Speak to him and tell him how much you love and miss him. If he doesn’t respond, still try again. Prove to him that you truly care about him and after a while, he would become responsive.

3.Start from his comfort zone:

When you want to discuss with an emotionally distant partner, don’t go straight to the point because he might not be interested. To draw his attention, you can start with topics that he is comfortable with.  As the conversation flows, then you can introduce the real topic you wish to address.

4. Do not pressurize him:

A person who is emotionally distant hates being pressurized to do anything.  He respects his time and his own limits. Do not try to force him to express his feelings just allow him to do it willingly and at his own speed. You will need a lot of patience to improve your relationship with him.

5. Give him some space:

If you have tried severally to draw closer to him and failed then the best thing to do would be to give him some space. It could be that he needs some space for personal reflection so don’t go about trying to irritate him at such time.  Get busy and act like his attitudes aren’t hurting you. After staying away for a while, he might miss you and draw closer to you.

6. Accept him for who he is:

If your man has always been the quiet and non-expressive type, then you should accept his shortcomings. Don’t assume that you can change his personality because it is always very difficult to change a person. Love him for who he is. Instead of complaining every day, you should express your love to him constantly. Who knows if he might just learn from your example and change into the man you want him to be.

In summary, if you are suffering because your partner is cold or distant, find out the reason for such behavior. Find out if he is going through stress, depression or if he had a bad experience in the past. Avoid criticizing and nagging about his emotionally distant attitude instead you should accept, respect and love him unconditionally. Finally, you must believe that your love will melt his heart someday and draw him closer to you.