How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor

When two people from different background come together to live as one, they would experience misunderstandings and conflicts in their relationship. Sometimes the differences can be sorted out as a couple while other times the intervention of a third party such as a marriage counselor, might be required. 

One thing you should know about a marriage counselor is that he/she doesn’t have some readymade solutions for marital issues. What he/she does is to listen, advise and renew the dialogue between the couple so that they can agree on a solution to their conflict.

Marriage counseling is a profession that requires maturity and psychology to be able to manage the different modes of expression of people. During a couple therapy, listening and discretion are essential qualities that would help the counselor to understand the patient’s point of view.

Qualities of a good counselor

He/she must be;

• Empathetic
• Patient
• Open minded
• Discreet
• Diplomatic
• Have good listening skills
• Able to reconcile individuals
• Impartial
• Respectful

The counselors who have helped me the most are those who have valued my opinions and thoughts. Those who listened more than they judged. Those who were not afraid to share their own experiences with me, even though that meant admitting that they were also young and immature.

Those who showed me their love by being honest and patient. Those who looked beyond my exterior and touched my heart.

How to Find a Good Counselor

Finding a good marriage counselor can seem like a difficult task. Not everyone who parades himself as a counselor is qualified to handle your issues. For this reason, there are some things you should consider before hiring the services of a counselor. They include;

Check for appropriate license:

You will be sharing your personal issues with the therapist so before letting it all out you must ensure that the individual has the right license to practice therapy. There are many unlicensed therapists out there whose aim is to defraud people. To avoid being a victim you should make a research on the person’s portfolio.

Ask questions:

Feel free to ask the counselor questions about himself and values before hiring. You can request for a phone call conversation prior to the visit. You can find out about the counselor’s marital status and sexual orientation.  You can also ask about their fees and the available adjustments. Just ask any question that will make you feel more at ease but avoid asking too personal questions.

Get a Referral:

If any friend or relative has gone through marriage counseling you might consider asking them for recommendations but in cases where you don’t want them to know you need marriage counseling, you can search for recommendation online.

Trust your gut:

When you meet the counselor for the first time, try to be open-minded and listen to what he/she has to say. If the therapist isn’t making sense or you feel you are not being understood properly then it is possible that counselor is a mismatch for you. This often happens when you don’t share the same values.

Wait for results:

Before commencing your therapeutic sessions, you should know exactly the results to expect. Sometimes the results of a therapy don’t come immediately but if you are patient you would notice slight progress along the way. If you have done everything you were asked to do and after some months you don’t see any result then you may want to start looking for another counselor.

When you find a good therapist and undergo therapeutic sessions then there are chances that the misunderstandings in your marriage would be resolved. Every married couple should have a counselor who guides them on how to handle issues from time to time. They say prevention is better than cure so do not wait until the conflicts and misunderstandings have become great before seeking help.

References

• https://www.wikihow.com/Choose-a-Marriage-Counselor
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/divorce-busting/200910/how-choose-good-marital-therapist
• https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-tips-to-find-a-good-couples-therapist/