How to know if you are a manipulative person

Who is a manipulative person? This is someone who tries to impose on others his vision and ways of doing things, without caring about what the individual wants. He only acts for his personal benefits. He also loves controlling the thoughts of others so his victims end up giving him what he really craves for which could be money, attention, love, opportunity, etc.

In short, manipulators are toxic people who should be recognized in time to prevent them from hurting you emotionally. Being in a relationship with a manipulating spouse can be very suffocating as you wouldn’t be allowed to live your life on your own terms.

Are you a manipulative person? If you aren’t do you think your spouse is? At the end of this blog you would have found answers to the above questions.

Definition of psychological manipulation

The mental or psychological manipulation can be defined as a mind control that one person exercises over another, using tactics and techniques of persuasion and pressure.  The manipulator manages to influence the actions, feelings and thoughts of the person, who is manipulated, to the point of mentally destabilizing him/her with the sole purpose of satisfying his personal needs and interests. Psychological manipulation can develop in any environment and interpersonal relationship.

Characteristics of a manipulative person:

Do you want to know if you or your spouse has got the manipulating personality? Look out for the following characteristics.

• He suffers from insecurity
• He suffers from low self esteem
• He is obsessed with the idea of transmitting a good image to others.
• He is intolerant
• Fond of criticizing others
• He is selfish
• He can be a bully too
• He is always right and hates correction

Manipulative individuals are usually opposite of what they portray. Amidst their strength, you’ll find a lonely and frustrated individual hoping to get help.

Routine Attitudes of a Manipulator

Having known the psychological profile of a manipulative individual, let us take a look at his day to day behavior.

He detects weaknesses and uses them to blackmail his victim:

A manipulator often finds out the weaknesses of his prey and on discovery, he uses them for blackmailing purpose.  If you have a partner who threatens to expose your weakness to the public, then that individual is a manipulator. The more you remain scared of him, the more sired you are to him.  You deserve something better, so set yourself free from his clutches.

He is always right and blames others for his mistake:

He can never take the blame for his wrong doings instead he shifts it to the closest victim. The reason for this attitude is because he hates saying “I am sorry”. Blaming others for his offences makes him feel like an expert in the game.

He lies a lot:

This is part of his game as he lies without premeditation. Apart from making others believe everything he says, he tends to spread false information. He is very persuasive and argues perfectly. In addition to this, he usually conceals information about himself and his personal life, but would want to know everything about the other person.

He is a goal getter:

A manipulative individual is usually determined to achieving all his goals irrespective of the means used. For him, the end always justifies the means. He does not care if he has to be cruel or behave selfishly; instead he focuses on different strategy to win the victory.

Expert in flattering:

This is his key to gaining access into his victim’s emotions. He uses flattery to make you succumb to his demands. He might also use flattering to mock you. Don’t fall for it.

He is very inquisitive:

He is a gossip and during conversation, he is fond of asking many questions just to get facts about the situation. When you give him detailed information, he might use it against you in the nearest future. When you ask him about events going on in his life, he would ignore your question or give you a simple answer. Why does he act this way? He’s scared of exposing his secrets.

How do you handle a manipulative spouse?

Living with a manipulative spouse can be such a hell. You know that moment when you feel like your spouse is only using you to satisfy all his needs. You probably would have requested for his attention to some of your needs but got none. I understand how it feels.

Not all manipulative individuals are bad people. Some are just unsecured individuals who build false impression about themselves just to protect themselves from being victims of heartbreaks. If you are such a person you can actually make a change and set yourself free from your fears, insecurity, low self-esteem, anxiety, etc.

If your partner is manipulative, talk to him about it. If he refuses to change, then resist his manipulation. Manipulation can lead to physical, psychological and verbal abuse and these are things you shouldn’t overlook in your marriage. You should also consider seeing a therapist who would counsel you more on how to deal with a manipulative spouse.