How to Render a Sincere Apology

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

At one point, you may have hurt someone knowingly or unknowingly. One way to get them to forgive you is by rendering an apology. The power of apology is legendary. A simple apology can clear all the hatred, resentment, anger and mend broken relationships. It also gives you the chance to accept the mistakes you made. However, if you don’t know how to apologize sincerely, you might worsen the situation.

It took me a long time to realize what it meant to say “I’m sorry” from the heart. It is more than saying those words. You must admit within yourself that you made a mistake, otherwise, you may not convince the other person that your apology is sincere.Learning to apologize is the first and most important step in the healing process. It opens the way to forgiveness.

Below are steps to take when rendering an apology.

How to Render a Sincere Apology

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes:

According to Nicole McCance, a relationship psychologist, the best way to prepare for an apology is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how you would feel if someone said or did the same thing to you. Try to feel and understand their pain. This exercise builds empathy and helps you in rendering a heartfelt apology.

Accept responsibility:

“Honey, I’m sorry that I cheated on you, but I did it because you’ve become unattractive to me.”

Every sincere apology starts with accepting that you are responsible for the mistake you made. If you start by blaming the other person, then you’ll be causing more conflict. Accept that you were wrong, and please avoid giving any excuse for your behavior.

State your side of the story:

Explain what happened. Maybe there’s an aspect of the story that your partner needs to hear. However, this shouldn’t be done when the person is still boiling with anger. Wait for them to calm down and during your explanation, avoid making excuses to justify your actions. Defensiveness should also be avoided because it will shut down an apology conversation.

Express regret:

When apologizing, let them know that you regret your actions. Don’t just say, “I regret ever hurting you.” Express it through your actions. Figure out what you can do to make them believe that you truly regret your actions.

To add to the sincerity of your apology, you can say something like:

“I wish it never happened.”

“I wish I could turn back the hands of time.”

“I wish I’d thought about your feelings as well.”

Declare your repentance:

This is one aspect of apology that most people ignore. What is the essence of an apology when you know you’ll still repeat the same thing over and over again? If you must apologize, then you must declare that you have repented and won’t ever repeat it.

Make amends:

After saying sorry, you need to find out if you can do something to amend the situation. If you said something hurtful, say something nice to help them feel better. If you broke the trust your partner had for you, do something to rebuild it. Find out from the person what you can do to please them. You could also buy a gift.

Request for forgiveness:

When asking for forgiveness, keep in mind that your request might not be granted. Your apology only shows that you’ve realized that you were wrong. It is up to the individual to accept your apology and forgive you. If you are sure that your apology was rendered sincerely, then your chances of being forgiven will be greater. However, if the other person decides not to forgive you, don’t force it, just give it some time. Forgiveness doesn’t come easily all the time.

Additional Tip:

When rendering an apology, the tone of your voice, body language, and facial expressions should be in line with what you are saying. Keep your voice low and take deep breaths throughout the conversation. Try to maintain eye contact and nod to indicate that you are listening. If you are scared of how the person might react, you might consider writing an apology letter. After you have apologized, give them some time to think about it. You can check in later to see how they are feeling.

Knowing the perfect time to apologize:

The perfect timing depends on the circumstances. Sometimes, you might have to wait for a few hours or days, while other times, an immediate apology would be perfect. The perfect timing can also depend on what the offended person prefers. For me, if I am offended, I wouldn’t be at peace until I get an apology. So, that is why I prefer getting an apology immediately.

Conclusion:

An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain and tension. A simple apology is worth more than a lifetime of excuses and explanations. It has saved many marriages. If you are having issues in your relationship, don’t let pride prevent you from apologizing and rebuilding your relationship.

Finally, always remember that “a late apology is better than no apology.”

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-apologize-more-sincerely-3144467
The Power of Apologizing: Why Saying “Sorry” Is So Important. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/power-apologizing-saying-sorry-important/

Related Posts:

When to say you are “sorry”

Empathy is key

When is the best time to ask for forgiveness after the affair?