“I am the mistress of a married man” Susan Speaks

For more than a year, Susan has been the mistress of Ven, a married man who is ten years older than her. She shared her story below:

Falling in love with a married man who is older than you is to come up against a thick wall of obstacles. The hardest thing is hiding your relationship to avoid being a caricature in the eyes of others.

Without even realizing it, you become the woman who has to wait for the man till whenever he finds a perfect opportunity to sneak out to you. Whenever he comes around, you’d wish he stays forever but a phone call from his wife awakens you to reality. I did not think it would ever happen to me but it happened, that’s all.

“A love at first sight”

I am a doctor. One day, a little over a year ago, Ven, a lawyer in his forties, came to my office for a routine consultation. I fell in love with him at first sight. He asked me for my phone number and started sending me a lot of messages. Little by little, I let myself get trapped in his intelligence. Ven was very cute and funny. This epistolary relationship lasted for months.

We finally agreed to go on a date but I was scared. I did not know what to expect but something was pushing me steadily towards him. In the bar where we met, something incredible happened: we realized that the attraction was mutual so we decided to build the relationship.

“A love story he did not expect”

Ven told me that he had already had other mistresses, always women of his age. It was easier for him as for them: they had the same constraints, the same vision of an adventure without tomorrow. Having an extra-marital relationship with a younger woman, he didn’t expect that he would fall in love with me.

Of course, my body attracted him, he is proud when we walk hand in hand. This reinforces his virility but I think he also feels guilty because in the end, I was just a mistress.

“With you, I feel so complete” 

At the end of last year, we experienced a four-month break. I did not want to see Ven anymore. The emotions were getting stronger and waiting for him made me feel so frustrated. The separation was hard for me so I contacted him four months later. I had missed him.

Our reunion began a new era for us. We were more honest, more frank. Things have changed. Ven pours out more freely. He does not promise me the moon, but speaks to me sincerely.

He would say “I love you because you make me feel so complete. If I wasn’t married I wouldn’t have thought it twice before making you mine forever”.

I understood and believed what he said. This was because I felt same way too. Although, I couldn’t be his wife, I was happy that I could own a portion in his heart.

“She has had him for 20 years, she could leave him for me.”

Can a man be in love with two women at same time? Although, Ven told me how much he loves me nevertheless, I was not deluded. I knew that since he couldn’t leave his wife then he must also be in love with her.

He is always happy at home but when he starts getting bored, he comes to me. He loves his children and wouldn’t give up living with them.

Suddenly, I became jealous of his wife and thought to myself: “She has had him for 20 years, why can’t she just leave him for me?”

However, on a second thought, I felt I shouldn’t be responsible for breaking up a home. It is his responsibility to choose what he wants because it is his life.

“We learnt to trust each other”

After several relationships with younger men, I discovered that Ven has a greater level of maturity when compared to my exes. I do not want to be with someone who is afraid of commitment. Someone who can’t confide in me and is so afraid of intimacy.

With Ven, I found reassurance, trust, love, sincerity and everything. Unfortunately, when I think about the future, I see myself trapped in a big black hole.

I don’t want to ever get separated from him because that would break me down completely. In spite of the cold nights spent all alone, the canceled appointments, the secret dates, the moments enjoyed at a fast pace, the fabric of our relationship gets stronger and stronger each day.

Just like legitimate couples, we have learnt to trust and adore each other. I grew up from a broken home and as a kid, I can remember how I had cursed my father’s mistress. But I never knew I would someday become another man’s mistress. I may not have planned for it but I think I am okay being a mistress. I know dating a single man would have been less challenging but for the moment I prefer my life with him than without him.