NYC Counselor shares the warning signs of an emotional affair

NYC INFIDELITY COUNSELING

It is a known fact that married and unmarried partners go outside their relationships to fill sexual and sometimes emotional needs.
Without a doubt an affair is a major relationship trauma, putting in question trust, commitment, love. When couples come in after a discovery of the affair the wounded partner feels completely betrayed and many can’t see a way to heal and ever trust again.
I DON’T SEE ALL AFFAIRS IN THE SAME LIGHT. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF INFIDELITIES:
Emotional affairs (which have little difference from a sexual affair, it’s on a spectrum)
One night stands
Repeated sexual indiscretions
Sex Addiction
Sexual affairs
Sexual romantic affairs
POSSIBLE REASONS FOR INFIDELITY
Wanting to end a bad marriage/relationship and using the affair as a way out
Getting what is missing in a relationship without any intention of ending the primary relationship.
Self medication, stimulation and pleasure (high)
Running from pain (loss, mid-life crisis), a form of self medication
Getting even and feeling entitled
Creating distance and occasional escapes
Multigenerational legacies
The type of the affair and the reasons are first part of my assessment. It is my philosophy that Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling can not be effective, meaning will not bring the couple to a place of healing and transformation if the affair continues. If an affair is a result of sexual addiction, then specific individual treatment targeted to sex addiction is necessary, sometimes with couples therapy and sometimes not. I have had many couples in my practice that went from severe crisis to transformation. Some that did not.
Recovery from infidelity is a process, which involves courage, determination, commitment, honesty, openness.