Aug
Marriage is a great institution that binds two individuals as one. Getting married is easier, but staying married is difficult. Every marriage faces challenges, and if the couples are not determined to work together and overcome their challenges, the thoughts of divorce arise.
We live in a society that teaches different misconceptions about divorce. The moment you decide to get divorced, family and friends are usually the ones that rub these misconceptions to your face. They would say:
“No one would want to marry a divorcee.”
“You have a bad attitude, and that’s why your marriage failed.”
“You are nothing without a husband by your side.”
If you are not emotionally strong, these misconceptions can make the divorce process more difficult. If you desire to have a successful divorce and live peacefully after that, you must be aware of these misconceptions and avoid them.
Popular Misconceptions about Divorce
My partner cheated, so I’m going to get everything:
The infidelity of a spouse has little or no impact on both divorce and custody cases. This is often a great disappointment to the spouse who was cheated on. If the lawyer of the spouse that cheated can convince the judge to give a verdict in his favor, then that’s what would happen. Likewise, as a rule, infidelity is not factored into such decisions except under rare circumstances.
I bought everything that we have so it is mine:
In most states, every property or asset acquired during the marriage is considered marital property. It doesn’t matter whose name is on it nor who bought it. Only property acquired before marriage, through inheritance, or as a gift, solely belongs to the spouse who owns them.
After divorce, the judge will split everything equally:
That isn’t true. In most states, the property is split equitably, not equally. For example, in Texas, a judge decides how the property is shared based on a “right and just” division. Based on different factors, the split could be 90/10, 50/50, 30/70, etc. Your lawyer is left to convince the judge why you deserve the division you are requesting. Property is divided 50-50 in “community property” states. However, property acquired before marriage, inheritance, and gifts may not be included.
Will I have to appear in court?
If you and your partner agree on all your divorce terms, appearing in court won’t be necessary. Court appearances happen when the couples are unable to negotiate a settlement. In Florida, mediation is a required part of the divorce process. In this case, the couple meets with a neutral professional who guides them on the best options for everyone. They don’t need to rely on a judge to give a final ruling.
Will I have to pay alimony forever?
In Pennsylvania, the higher-earning spouse usually supports their ex-spouse for some time. The duration is dependent on how long their marriage lasted. For example, for a marriage that lasted for ten years, alimony payments are made for two to four years. The amount paid is dependent on the respective earnings of the couple.
Divorce cost is outrageously expensive.
Many people assume that getting a divorce is expensive because they heard about cases that cost over fifty thousand dollars. The truth is that a typical non contested divorce can cost just a few hundreds of dollars. High costs occur when the couple fails to agree on some of their divorce terms, so they keep dragging and dragging. Also, highly litigated child custody issues can generate the majority of the fees and costs. So if you wish to spend moderately on divorce, you and your partner must cooperate.
If you get a divorce, you are a failure.
This particular misconception is very common. We live in a society where people judge others even before hearing their side of the story. I have worked with divorcees who narrated how they were stigmatized and tagged failures. A lady said there was a day they were having a meeting in the church. When she aired her opinion, she was hushed by another member who stated that her suggestions were invalid because she couldn’t save her marriage. The same marriage that her partner almost killed her.
If you are a divorcee, don’t let what people say define who you are. When people throw that “you are a failure” garbage to you, shove it off and move on with your heads high.
The mother always gets custody.
The trend of mothers getting primary custody is gradually getting outdated. Nowadays, for the best interest of the child, joint custody is awarded. When allocating timesharing schedules, factors such as living arrangements, work schedules, the child’s school location, etc.. are considered. Sometimes, a 50/50 timesharing schedule is allocated. A father can also be awarded sole custody if he can prove to the court that he is a better parent.
If the other parent doesn’t pay child support, I can withhold parenting time.
This misconception causes a lot of problems. As a custodial parent, you must understand that child support’s payment or nonpayment shouldn’t affect parenting time. You don’t have any right to withhold your child from spending time with the other parent because they failed to pay child support; instead, report to the proper legal channels to enforce the payment.
You can only file for a divorce in the state you got married in:
If you no longer reside in the state where you got married, you can file for a divorce in the state where you currently reside. However, you must meet the necessary residency requirements before you can proceed. For example, to file for a divorce in Kansas, you or your spouse must have lived in the state for at least 60 days. In Australia, they must have lived for at least 12 months before the application.
Conclusion:
Not every love story ends with a happily ever after. In reality, people change, and love emotions die. When love is gone, the marriage becomes vulnerable. People love to tell you that divorce is ‘not an option for them,’ like it’s a disgrace or a bad thing. The truth is, in cases where reconciliation is no longer an option, divorce becomes the best option. The “together forever” misconception is why some persons judge themselves harshly when their relationship ends. Once you begin the steps to initiate your divorce, you must watch out for these misconceptions. After you get a divorce, your next goal should be to get over it and move on as quickly as possible.
Related Posts:
- The most common reasons people give for their divorce
- Seven Things You Should Do To Stop A Divorce
- Divorce and Legal Separation: Its Similarities and Differences
