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Relational Reconciliation
Mar
The need for relational reconciliation, especially within the Church
“Some people bring happiness wherever they go, while some people bring happiness whenever they go.”
The paraphrased quote by Oscar Wilde reflects relational issues in a funny way, but the issues are not always funny. We have a unanimous disease affecting us all and it is called: relational rage. See, the waves of relational rage hit all of us at some point in time. The Bible calls the church the “body of Christ.” The metaphor of “body” is very insightful because a body has various roles and functions, but one ultimate goal—to live. So anytime there is a part of the body not working correctly, the body needs help. We are all capable of having issues with one another. But careful, “Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
Within these relationships, there is intimacy. Intimacy between a relationship is earned and not something freely given. Like a married couple, the two become one flesh and are connected intimately with one another. But part of that intimacy is the unashamed nakedness around each other (physically, emotionally, and every other word ending with “Lee”). But this “nakedness” is not for the world; it is for the married couple. And so, in an intimate friendship, full-fledged “nakedness” does not exist. As the intimacy grows, a bit more of the person is revealed, but never the nakedness of marital intimacy. The Bible warns us about breaking this friendship intimacy that we all develop and how it does exactly what it did here:
“A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28).
This text tells us that a “whisperer,” or really, a gossip “separates close friends.” The Bible does not vaguely present problems, it also presents the consequences. This is beautiful because when the consequence happens, the Bible’s diagnosis of the problem is fulfilled, which shows us the Bible’s sufficiency for life.
One of the biggest reasons people have issues in relationships is their lack of ownership. With the sufficiency of scripture in mind, the text to follow explains how to prevent gossip and other relational issues:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Here is a warning and a solution in one scripture. As Christians, we are to only speak that which is “good for building up.” We do this because our Savior does the same to us. Christ owned our problems without condemning us: we were once down and dead in our sin but now we are up and alive in His righteousness. With Jesus’s forgiveness through the cross, God actually flips the corrupting talk we deserve and gives us helpful talk through His scriptures. Therefore, because we have received helpful talk that builds us up from God without deserving it, we ought to grant other people this same type of talk. How does this happen? This happens by evaluating what you are about to say about someone else and whether or not it builds the other up or tears them down; whether or not it keeps the security of the wall of intimacy or creates an insecurity. This evaluation of our speech is key to our relationships. It attains the ultimate goals for all relationships: love and peace. These two goals are actually available to Christians because Christ has reconnected Christians to the God of love and the God of peace (1 John 4:8; Hebrews 13:20).
There is pain in confrontation with people, but a biblical reconciliation protects the relationship. Like a child fearing a flu shot, the child does not realize that the pain of confrontation with the needle actually protects him. If the issue and the facts are not that big, we should let our presupposition of love precede our anger until the facts have been presented; especially when a relationship road of faithfulness has been paved for years. A speed bump of gossip, anger, or ignorance should not close the relationship road that has been traveled on for years.
As Christians, our salvation came from a God of reconciliation. Therefore, we must be reconcilers as image bearers of this God, especially as products of His reconciliation:
“In Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:19).
So when someone that knows us very well uses knowledge of us to hurt us, we must realize we have done the same to our God who knows us better than a mere friend. Yet, we take the hurt and want to retaliate; but God took the retaliation we deserve and gave it to His own Son. To our wonder, faith in the Son of God creates reconciliation between man and God—an eternal separation now becomes an eternal connection. Therefore, reconcile as you’ve been reconciled.
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://infidelityrecoveryinstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/11221712_1036478326369805_7095406426042573666_n.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Cameron Fathauer is the Founder of Dear Mr. Christian. He is a full time student at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary’s undergraduate school, Boyce College, where he is studying to receive a Masters in Divinity (MDiV) within the next few years.[/author_info] [/author]
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