SEVEN MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE TO AVOID

Are you planning to get married soon? If yes, congratulations in advance. Marriage is sweet but it’s not perfect. Before starting your marital journey, I think it’s only fair to open your eyes to some misconceptions about marriage. These misconceptions could originate from our background, culture, or society. For example, if you grew up in a home where your dad was always beating up your mum, you might think it is a normal practice. There may be other wrong beliefs about marriage that have been internalized in you. So before saying, “I do,” you should identify and avoid them otherwise, they could hamper your marriage.

Below are seven misconceptions about marriage every new couple must avoid.

My spouse will always know how I feel and what to do to make me happy:

Really? Is your partner a clairvoyant? The fact that they are in love with you doesn’t give them a supernatural power that reads your thoughts and understands your feelings at all times. Sometimes, they might guess correctly, but don’t assume that that would always be the case. Learn how to communicate your emotions and needs properly.

You will live happily ever after:

 

Have you seen some beautiful couples’ pre-wedding pictures? Looking at the smiles worn on such pictures, one would assume that their love story would be like the fairy tale of a happily ever after. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. You might have a glorious wedding but bear it at the back of your mind that the real work begins after the vows are exchanged. Anyone can get married, but can they stay married? Would they be willing to cope with their individual differences and deal with every challenge that life throws at them? There will be happy and sad days. There will be days when you’ll wonder if you made the right decision to marry that individual. But don’t worry about a happily ever after. Just take each day at a time and enjoy every good moment.

Your spouse will fill up your emptiness:

I always hear single folks say, “I need a partner that would make me happy and fill the void in me.” Each time I hear that, I smile. This misconception is responsible for most infidelity cases in marriage. Those who get married hoping that their partner will “complete” them, and when that doesn’t happen, they’ll look for an outsider that’ll do that. That is how infidelity begins.

Listen up! You are responsible for your happiness and wholeness. The emptiness that you feel can only be solved by you, not your partner. I wrote an article on how to conquer loneliness, so if you cannot conquer that as a single person, you will continue to feel that way when you are married. That is the truth. Your partner can only be a friend and companion, but they can’t fill your emptiness. Only you can do that by channeling your energy towards things that make you happy and whole.

They will change once we are married:

Are you dating someone that has a character that you don’t like? It could be womanizing, drunkenness, lies, laziness, money mismanagement, abuse, or whatever. Did they tell you that they will change after getting married to you? Well, that’s a lie. People change when they want to, and saying “I do” doesn’t change them automatically. There was a lady that married a guy that was constantly beating her up during courtship. He told her he would change after the wedding but guess what? He got worse instead, and to cut the story short, he killed her.

My dear, if you find any trait that you don’t like during courtship, it is either you walk away or prepare to live the rest of your life with this person just the way they are.

Love is enough:

The above line may sound romantic but always have it at the back of your mind that LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. Human emotions fluctuate. You might be madly in love with someone today, and by tomorrow, they don’t mean anything to you again. It is just like other emotions; hatred, happiness, sadness, anger, they have wings and could fly away. If you are expecting a long-lasting marriage, then in addition to love, you should look out for respect, trust, honesty, discipline, and commitment.

Happy couples never argue:

 

How do you expect two individuals with different personalities to live together for the rest of their lives without arguing? I wonder why anyone would ever believe such a myth. Sometimes, a spouse might have a different opinion and may try to convince the other spouse to accept their opinion. If their intentions are not communicated properly, it leads to an argument. When couples don’t argue, they make all kinds of emotional compromises and are not truthful to each other.

John Gottman’s research shows that happy couples have at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction during a conflict. “They may be arguing,” he says, “but they are also laughing and teasing, and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections.”

Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce:

A study by the California Divorce Mediation Project found 80 percent of divorces are caused by spouses drifting apart and becoming emotionally detached. This represents a failure of the friendship and intimacy in the relationship. Most people stray because they found a source of companionship and affection they think their marriage lacks. Only 20 to 27 percent blamed their separation on an extramarital affair, and those partners who had affairs were driven to them because of loneliness. So in most cases, there was a subtle or serious problem (s) in the marriage before the affair occurred.

 

There are several other misconceptions about marriage you should find out.  However, if you are already married and your marriage is experiencing some challenges then I have a recommendation for you.

I was talking to the team at Save My Marriage Today recently, and we were talking about marriages gone bad. I discovered that Amy Waterman has developed a course that encourages couples to break the ice and develop ways to interact and strengthen their failing relationship. She deals with topics such as:

• Tips on how to rescue your marriage,
• How to reintroduce passion,
• How to repair your marriage after an affair,
• Self-assessment,
• Gestures that are more important than words and much, much more..

My first impression of the course was how well laid out it is, in neat, graphically designed eBooks. This is someone who takes their craft seriously and I am immediately confident that I have purchased a professional course that takes both me and my marriage seriously. I was also pretty impressed with the content, not only with the theory but the accompanying exercises at the end of many chapters that helped cement the concepts and apply them to real-life marriages.

The other thing that impressed me is the sheer volume of information both in the two main Save My Marriage Today eBooks, but also the accompanying bonus eBooks as well. In total it is one of the most comprehensive marriage saving courses I have seen assembled!

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to save your marriage. Over 2 million couples divorce every year, and many of those could have been avoided if those couples communicated and applied the techniques that Amy shows us in her life-changing course. She can’t work miracles and save every marriage, but if you are serious about resurrecting the love you once had for your partner and saving your marriage, you should maximize your chances and read and apply the relationship advice that Amy has to offer.

Amy is able to identify where you have been going wrong and show you how to avoid those crucial mistakes that actually jeopardize your chances of saving your failing marriage. In addition to this, she has included a free email consultation so that customers can discuss any specific problems or further clarification that the course doesn’t already cover.

I really do believe Amy is onto a good thing here, and she really can help you save your marriage! The techniques she reveals are thought-provoking and have been proven over and over to help save marriages. I was very impressed when I finished reading this material and have recommended it to everyone I know.

But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself! Take a look at:

SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY

 

 

I promise you won’t be disappointed, and best of all, it could turn your life around. For a fraction of the cost of a counselor, you can save your marriage!

All the best!

 

Sources:

• https: // marriagedynamics. com/common -marriage- misconception/
• https://seatt lechristiancounselin g.com/ articles/3-common-misconcep tions-about-healthy-marriages
• https: //www.gottman .com/blog/the- magic-relationship- ratio-according-science/