Should I Confess my Infidelity to my Spouse?

After an infidelity most people are faced with the feelings of guilt and they often ask this question:

“Should I confess my infidelity to my spouse?”

The opinions on this sensitive issue are divided: on one hand there are those who suggest that an infidelity, especially if it was an accidental affair should never be confessed nor admitted because it could lead to the end of the marriage while the other party thinks confessing infidelity grants an opportunity to save the relationship and regain trust. Besides, when you don’t confess and you get caught it would be very difficult to convince your partner that the affair was a mistake.

Four Reasons Why You Should Confess an Infidelity

To avoid a reoccurrence:

If you cheat on your partner without confessing, you are more likely to repeat it over and over again. But when you confess to your partner and vow never to do it again, you would experience some level of restraint when next you find yourself in a tempting situation.

Because you love and care:

If your marriage is based on love and care then it would be wrong to be dishonest to your partner. Confessing your infidelity would be a sign of how remorseful and honest you are. Although, a confession doesn’t guarantee a regained trust but when your partner discovers that you have genuinely repented then he or she might decide to trust you once again.

Because you want to make your relationship work:

Facing difficult circumstances as a couple is one of the points that make relationships stronger. If you wish to spend the rest of your life with your spouse then it is advisable that you don’t build your marriage on deceit and lies.

Because it is the right thing to do:

Whether you regret your infidelity or not, the right thing to do is to confess your actions and face the consequences that follow. Lying shouldn’t be a choice because if your partner eventually finds out about your infidelity from someone else, it would hurt her more than when she hears it from you.

Four Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Confess An Infidelity

 Your partner might leave you:

This is one of the possible consequences of confessing an infidelity. Let’s assume you did confess to ease off the guilt but it would have been better to live with the guilt and still have your family intact than to confess and lose your love ones.

Because you care:

If you cared about your partner, then you would know how much your confession would hurt her. It could make her lose her mind especially if she had complete trust in you. So if you truly care about her then save her from the trauma. Instead of confessing you can compensate your deception with a better attitude and commitment.

Your partner would prefer not to know:

There are some partners who would prefer not to know about it because they wouldn’t want anything to get in-between the love and trust they have for their spouse. Besides, everyone has their little secret diary which shouldn’t be shared and your infidelity episode would be better stored in that diary.

Confession doesn’t change anything:

You did cheat either by choice or chance. So what’s next? Close the chapter and move on. Confessing it doesn’t erase the fact that it happened instead it would trigger mistrust and loss of confidence. If you love the peaceful serenity in your home, then some mistakes are better not shared.

Generally, if it was an accidental affair which you are sure that it wouldn’t repeat again then confessing it would be unnecessary. Also, if your partner doesn’t suspect anything the best alternative is to remain silent.

Meanwhile, you are the best person to decide if you should confess or not. This is because you have enough knowledge of how your partner would react to the confession. So you should make your decision based on their supposed reaction. We can only advise that you avoid cheating, so you do not have to go through the consequences of an infidelity.