Power Your Mind To Stop Compulsive Lying!
Compulsive lying is a problem for millions of people and one that can cause them to weave tangled webs that destroy trust and relationships.
Compulsive lying is not done merely to deceive. Often people will tell lies to save themselves from embarrassment or prevent hurting another’s feelings. They will even lie for financial gain or as part of their “sales pitch.” With compulsive lying the lies are told for different reasons or no reason at all.
Compulsive or chronic lying is actually believed to be a symptom rather than a mental disorder of its own. It could be symptomatic of narcissism or delusional thinking, in which case the lies that are told by the liar are reality to them so they are unaware that they are lying.
Chronic lying usually begins in childhood. It is around age 5 or 6 that children tell lies to avoid punishment or having to do something they don’t want. All parents have heard their child state clearly they have brushed their teeth, only to find a dry toothbrush in the holder. It is when this habit continues into adolescence that there may be another disorder assigned to it, since at this age young adults begin to truly understand the consequences of lying.
The effect of compulsory lying continues into adult relationships, and makes for stressful relationship communication. The liar cannot stop the flow of lies, The partner can feel mentally abused.
Defining characteristics of pathological lying include:
- The stories told are usually dazzling or fantastical, but never breach the limits of plausibility, which is key to the pathological liar’s tactic. The tales are not a manifestation of delusion or some broader type of psychosis—on confrontation, the teller can admit they are untrue, even if unwillingly.
- The fabricative tendency is chronic. It is not provoked by the immediate situation or social pressure so much as it is an innate trait of the personality. There is some element of dyscontrol present.
- A definitely internal, not an external, motive for the behavior can be discerned clinically: e.g., long-lasting extortion or habitual spousal battery might cause a person to lie repeatedly, without the lying being a pathological symptom.[2]
- The stories told tend toward presenting the liar favorably. The liar “decorates their own person”[3] by telling stories that present them as the hero or the victim. For example, the person might be presented as being fantastically brave, as knowing or being related to many famous people, or as having great power, position, or wealth.
Pathological lying may also present as false memory syndrome, where the sufferer genuinely believes that fictitious (imagined) events have taken place. Sufferers may believe they have accomplished superhuman feats or awe-inspiring acts of altruism and love—or have committed equally grandiose acts of diabolical evil, for which they must atone or already have atoned in their fantasies.
Diagnosing Pathological Lying
Diagnosing pathological lying can be difficult. Psychologists are trained to understand the issues this diagnosis presents as a disorder. It is a stand-alone disorder as well as a symptom of other disorders such as psychopathy and antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders, but people who are pathological liars may not possess characteristics of the other disorders. Excessive lying is a common symptom of several mental disorders.
Some psychiatrists distinguish compulsive from pathological lying, while others consider them equivalent; yet others deny the existence of compulsive lying altogether; this remains an area of considerable controversy.[4]
Psychologists have generally used a questionnaire with 40 items called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. However, a new study shows that you can identify narcissists almost as accurately using just one question (Bushman et al., 2014).
Bushman et al questioned 2,200 people of all ages, people, with one simple question below:
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: “I am a narcissist.” (Note: The word “narcissist” means egotistical, self-focused, and vain.)”
People rated themselves on a scale of 1 to 7 where 1 is “not very true of me” and 7 is “very true of me”.
The results were pretty close to the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, which required more questions. Why? Bushman explains:
“People who are willing to admit they are more narcissistic than others probably actually are more narcissistic.
People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact. You can ask them directly because they don’t see narcissism as a negative quality — they believe they are superior to other people and are fine with saying that publicly.”
While narcissists seem attractive at first, their personalities can be toxic in the long-run because they have little concern for the feelings of others. As Bushman says,
“Overall, narcissism is problematic for both individuals and society. Those who think they are already great don’t try to improve themselves.
“And narcissism is bad for society because people who are only thinking of themselves and their own interests are less helpful to others.”
Why not try out the narcissist question on those around you right now and see what results you get?
A Modern Solution to Lying
Hypnosis is effective in changing many behaviors. Hypnosis can make reality a more conscious part of the compulsive liar’s thinking. It does this through a therapeutic script that allows for better organization of data that is real and that which is merely perceived by the liar. Through hypnosis the compulsion to lie is replaced with the ability to tell the truth.
Steve G. Jones is a clinical hypnotherapist who has helped compulsive liars gain a firmer grasp on reality. His self hypnosis program, “Stop Compulsive Lying” can effectively change the outward responses of the person with the disorders related to chronic lying.
However, pathological lying is a complex phenomenon, differing from other mental illnesses. It has many life-changing consequences for those who must live with the illness. Currently, there is not enough research in the area of pathological lying to guarantee a cure.
Source:
- Dike CC, Baranoski M, Griffith EE (2005). “pseudologia lying revisited”. The Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law. 33 (3): 342–9. PMID 16186198.
- Dike, Charles C. (June 1, 2008). “Pathological Lying: Symptom or Disease?”.
- Healy, M., & Healy, W. (2004). Pathological lying, Accusation And Swindling. Winnetka, Illinois: Kessinger Publishing.
- “The Truth About Compulsive and Pathological Liars”. Psychologia. Retrieved 28 January 2017.
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