The Affair I Wished I Never Had

My name is Celina and I will like to share my infidelity story. While I was still in college I fell in love with Sam. He was a cute and brilliant guy so most girls on campus loved him and he had many girlfriends who were always fighting one other for his sake. Despite knowing that Sam’s life was filled with drama, I still allowed myself to fall madly in love with him.

He told me he loved me more than the other girls but I knew that was a lie. On different occasions, I caught him cheating on me and broke up with him but guess what? I couldn’t stay away for so long so I always found myself running back to his arms. I think he was my addiction.

During our final year in school, Sam broke up with me. I actually don’t know why he did that but when I refused to leave his life, he became rude to me. He would scream at me and sometimes he insulted me in public. When I couldn’t bear it anymore, I decided to leave.

Five months after our relationship ended, I met James. He was a complete opposite of Sam. He was a responsible and a serious-minded individual. I told him everything about my past and he accepted me without judging me. He loved me more than I love myself and my relationship with him helped me in regaining my self-esteem which Sam had crushed.  Few months after we met, James asked me to marry him and of course, I accepted.

I got married after graduation and we moved to another city. We were living happily and the arrival of our son brought more joy to our home. My husband was the best blessing I ever got. He was not just cute, he was also a loving, caring and faithful partner.  I can’t forget about our son whose smiles and sweet voice brightened my day. Everything was just perfect until that afternoon I made a costly mistake that ruined my marriage.

THE AFFAIR I WISHED I NEVER HAD

I was shopping at the mall when I heard someone call out my name.

“Celina! Celina!”

It was a male voice and when I turned around, guess who it was?  It was my ex-boyfriend, Sam. I was so surprised to see him after five years. I lost my gaze on his smiling cheek and his neatly shaved beard. He was looking very cute than the man I dated some years back. Looking at his expensive designer’s attire, I had no doubt he’s been faring well all these years.

“Sam, what a surprise to see you.”

“So good to see you too” he replied.

“You have really grown into a cute man. Tell me, what brought you to Chicago?”

“Oh! I came for a business meeting. I actually live in California” he replied.

“Are you married now?” I asked.

“Hahahaha… Not at all.  I still have enough time for that. Right now, my focus is on work only.”

While we were still catching up, Sam requested that I should follow him to the hotel where he was lodged. Initially, I wanted to turn down his request but when I remembered that my husband wasn’t in town and I had left my son at his grandma’s place, then I was certain no one would find out that I had gone somewhere else.

While we were there, he apologized for treating me badly in the past.  He also told me that he was still in love with me. The truth is that I never stopped thinking about him after I got married. Deep inside, my feelings for him were still much alive. So while he spoke those sweet words, I became weak and yearned for his touches and kisses. I guess he felt the same way too so after we had some drinks, we decided to get between those sheets.

I was awakened to reality when my mother in-law’s call came through. She was bothered because I had stayed longer than scheduled. I had to give her some excuses for the delay. After she hung up, I got up from the bed, wore my dress then kissed him goodbye.

THE TRICK THAT FAILED ME  

I never thought of getting pregnant not until I missed my period the following month.  “Oh my gosh! I didn’t plan for this, ” I screamed when I confirmed that I was pregnant. Meanwhile, during that period my husband and I hadn’t been intimate because he had a contract that took him out of town. Guess what I did?  I called and begged him to return even if it was just for the weekend.  Well, he listened to me and visited the next weekend.

Three months later I announced to my husband that I was pregnant and instead of getting that happy expression, he was shocked.  He told me he wasn’t expecting another baby but since the baby has been conceived, we would have to plan for his arrival.

After that day, I noticed that my husband’s attitude changed. He was acting cold and depressed. When I asked him what his problem was he said he was having some challenges at work and he would be fine soon.

On the day I had my baby, everyone was happy except my husband. He didn’t act like he was sad either. He was just quiet.  Also, he stopped being intimate with me and when I complained of his attitude, he said he would change but he never did. I noticed that his love for me was gradually fading away. I felt he had a mistress but I had no evidence.

THE SECRET REVELATION

After my baby became a year old, I was at home one day when a letter was delivered to me. When I opened it, I found DNA reports for my Xavier.  It was then that James told me that he had done a DNA test to prove he wasn’t my baby’s daddy.  I was shocked when he said he knew the baby wasn’t his from the conception because he had done a vasectomy immediately after our first child was born. He would have told me the truth all this while but he wanted me to confess it on my own. So after waiting for more than a year, he decided to spill the beans by himself.

While he said those things, I cried bitterly and begged for forgiveness. I wanted to be given another chance but it was already too late because he had already made up his mind to end the marriage.  I tried to turn back the hands of time, I tried to restore the love and trust in my home, I tried to fix my marriage, but it was already broken.

What hurt me most was when my husband won custody of our first child. He separated me from my four-year-old son. He threw me out of his life and got married to another woman. He also told my son that I’m a bad mother.

After we got separated, I took my second son and went to look for his father, Sam. I had thought he would welcome me with open arms. After all, didn’t he say he was still in love with me?  When I met him and told him that I had a child for him from the encounter at the hotel, he acted less concerned. He only asked me to stay away from his life and promised to send money for upkeep from time to time.

Although, I never imagined becoming a single mother not until life chose me to walk down this path. I regret every day for making the mistake of sleeping with my ex because that incident shattered my home. I miss my ex-husband and my first son. I hope that one day everything that I have lost would be restored.