Tips for Overcoming Depression after a Divorce

Your wedding ceremony was more than what you dreamed of. After you got married, you decided to let go of some habits, friendships, dreams, likes etc… and put in all your best to make your marriage last for a lifetime. But one day, you woke up to realize that your marriage has turned from being a love zone into a conflict zone.

You tried to sort out the differences between you and your spouse but the more you tried, the more you failed. So finally, as a couple, you decided to get a divorce because you felt that was the only solution. Few weeks after the divorce, you felt like you were gradually losing your mind.

Those who see your outer smile, call you a strong woman because they aren’t aware of your inner battles. They don’t know about the sleepless nights, hallucinations, nightmares and suicidal thoughts you have had. They also don’t know that you are slowly sinking into depression.  You are the only one who knows that you need help.

Depression is a disease that affects the mind and the body, producing changes at the level of sleep, appetite and the perception we have of ourselves and the world in general. Depression is not a sign of weakness nor is it a personal choice. It goes beyond normal suffering: if you are depressed you will have some signs and symptoms that can last for weeks, months and even years if the proper treatment is not followed.

Most depressive disorders occur because of our inability to adapt to the changes in our lives or cope with our problems. A divorce opens a new chapter and leaves us with confusing feelings which if not monitored can result in depression.

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events. Acute and chronic stress affects the emotional and physical health. There is a research that suggests that divorced or widowed people have more chronic diseases (diabetes, cancer …) by 20% than married people. In addition, other studies showed that the level of happiness of a person decreases as the divorce approaches.

Depression can result in the following signs and symptoms:

• Social withdrawal,
• Suicidal thoughts,
• Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness,
• Reduced appetite and weight loss,
• Loss of sexual interest,
• Headaches,
• Dizziness,
• Heart problems,
• Breathing problems,
• Back pain,
• Gastrointestinal complaints,
• Abdominal pain.

How to overcome depression after the divorce:

Be yourself:

Don’t allow the divorce to change you from who you were. For example; if you were cheerful, strong and bold, then divorce shouldn’t change you into some sad and shy looking person. Be yourself, live your life and be happy always. The best kind of freedom is self-freedom so live freely and grab every opportunity that comes your way.

Don’t blame anyone:

It takes two people to make a relationship work so you must desist from blaming yourself for being responsible for the divorce. Irrespective of what happened and who was at fault, playing the blame cards wouldn’t make you feel any better. Besides, it wouldn’t change what has happened so let go of the blames and see how fast you will heal from depression.

Manage your negative emotions

Negative emotions are not as unhealthy as one might think. They are vital to our good functioning. They carry a message. They are our inner barometer. They tell us about ourselves.

It is very normal to feel some negative emotions like pain and anger but that does not mean you have to nurture them. After identifying the negative emotions that you are feeling, discover the best ways to manage them.

Comfort yourself:

Don’t wait for someone to comfort you because there might not be anyone. You are your own parent. You must act as a loving parent to yourself and learn to give yourself the comfort you need. This will help you get out of depression.

 Take care of yourself:

Most times after a breakup, your self-esteem gets weakened especially if you were the abandoned or rejected partner. Don’t let the divorce get the worst out of you. You must take care of yourself as never before. Work on rebuilding your self-esteem, self-confidence, and don’t forget to find a reason to smile.

 Do not stay alone, go out and explore

Being divorced doesn’t mean you should lock up yourself in your room and not interact with people anymore. No! Get out of your comfort zone then go and explore. Make new friends, visit your loved ones, visit new places, and catch some fun.

Take a step at a time

Do not compare yourself with other people who have gone through a divorce. Remember that each situation is different and each person is different. So whenever you feel like your recovery process is slow, ignore those feelings. If the clock is still ticking, that means your healing is in progress. It might seem unnoticeable now but one day you will look back and realize how far you have gone.

Read a self-help book

Reading a self-help book can make you recover more quickly after a divorce, especially when you feel misunderstood and don’t know whom to turn to.

Seek professional help if you need it

If after a few months or years, despite the efforts made, you still cannot turn the page, then you might consider consulting a specialist to help you analyze the causes of your depression and propose new ways to solve it.

Being divorced doesn’t mean your life is over, it doesn’t mean you are destined for bad luck and it also doesn’t mean you can’t find true love and be happy again. Your happiness in life shouldn’t be dependent on whether you are married or single. Learn to find happiness and satisfaction in yourself because that is the only way to overcome depression when it comes knocking.

Source:

https://ifightdepression.com/en/for-all/signs-and-symptoms