Tips for Successful Marriage

Not everyone who cheats in a relationship sets out to be the bad guy. At the beginning, most people are genuinely hoping to fulfill their vows for the rest of their married lives. However as we all know, life doesn’t always go to plan. Oftentimes we are dealt a deck of cards that seems almost impossible to win with. With the increasing rate of infidelity, separation and divorce, here are some tips and helpful hints to better your odds at living a happily married life.

 Be attractive:

It starts with self-love. When you take good care of yourself, inside and outside, you not only give yourself the love you deserve, but you also allow yourself to become more confident and giving to others. I have seen ladies who became less concerned about their appearance, immediately after they got married. Or men who would only seem to take care of their appearance when they go out. Men and women both want to feel like their spouses put in effort to look their best for the other. When a man or woman slackens off after marriage, it raises questions in their partners minds about whether they genuinely want to be with their partner, or whether they simply wanted to get married in general.

Try to stay attractive because a nice appearance makes your partner feel good about being with you.  Being attractive can help to increase your self-esteem. Always dress well, take good care of your personal hygiene, and do your best to take time out for yourself and keep stress at bay. For men, you might want to have a read here about some additional tips to keeping a woman while looking your best. You could even do some joint activities, simply things like going for a walk to appreciate nature, or trying meditation together, could do wonders. Sometimes its the little things that make all the difference.

Love, appreciate and adore your spouse:

They say that love is a plant that needs to be watered daily for it to stay fresh and grow. Most people fail to realize how much their spouses need their love and appreciation. If you love your spouse make out a plan to appreciate them always. You could buy a gift, say a compliment, send a mail or give them any surprise. Try as much as possible to always put a smile on your spouse’s face on daily basis.

Explore the relationship thoroughly:

 “It’s when the emotional dimension of the relationship is lacking that we start looking elsewhere,” said Sue Johnson. You need to get back in touch with your spouse and this involves asking delicate questions about recurring conflicts, and sharing your fears and needs. Knowing your own needs and responding to those of your partner can help create an indestructible bond.

Reinvent your sex life:

 A fulfilling sex life begins with communication between the two partners, who must be able to discuss their respective needs and desires. This also goes beyond the sexual act. Perhaps, basically, you could simply take a bath together or massage each other’s feet. What matter are physical contact, open dialogue and willingness to devote time for a good sex.  In most relationships, after the first few years, the frequency of sex drops but if you wish to keep your relationship intact do not ever let sex lack in your relationship.

Communication is a key:

Communication is very important in marriage and to have an effective communication the couple must learn to be completely honest about all subjects. There are spouses who prohibit their partners from sharing some personal concepts. Many cases of infidelity began because the man or woman found their spouses opinions to be controversial or unnecessary. Then such spouse goes outside in search of a listening ear that also supports the individual. This weak spouse might eventually fall in love with this outsider and that marks the beginning of an infidelity. In marriage and relationships, sex, disagreements, flaws and everything should be discussed and sorted out on time.

 Avoid temptation zones:

Avoid spending long time with someone of the opposite sex especially in secret places.  If you ever need to hire someone to assist you on anything, try to hire someone of same sex. For example, if you are looking for a personal gym trainer, choose someone of the same sex especially if you are the type that develops emotions easily.  Avoid unnecessary intimacy with outsiders as such could create a ground for infidelity.

Make your spouse your best friend:

I have heard couples say that they have got best friends of the opposite sex and I actually wondered what kind of relationship exists between them and their so called best friends. Most of them say “He is just my good friend and my husband is aware of it.”

He might be aware of the relationship but has he ever said he is comfortable with it? If you wish to avoid infidelity, you must learn to respect your spouse’s feelings and avoid any emotional bonding with an outsider. Initially, you might consider it a harmless platonic relationship but do not be surprised if one day  you found yourself naked on the same bed with your so called best friend.

Have fun together

“Having fun together should be a priority for the couple” says Beth Mares, Toronto Psychotherapist.  Our daily obligations might keep us busy all day but we must try to make out time for our spouses. You can go on dates and enjoy some quiet moments together.

Cheating is a choice that can be influenced by both internal and external factors. When you practice these tips you would most likely be able to prevent infidelity to some extent but not completely. This is because as individuals we all act differently and what works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B.

If your relationship requires a little more work, and perhaps the above tips aren’t as helpful for you, then you may want to click here to read some more great information about saving your marriage. Please feel free to comment with any questions or feedback.