Understanding the Unfaithful Wife

There are many reasons why some women stray from the arms of their long-term intimate partner into the arms of another. An affair is often an external expression of an internal fracture that may have occurred for a while. If she ever loved you once then there must be a reason why she prefers another.

I would say that there are some intrinsic and extrinsic factors that contribute to a woman’s infidelity. The extrinsic factors include; the amount of love, care, affection, attention, sacrifices and satisfaction her husband can provide for her while the intrinsic factors have to do with her love for her spouse and her general attitude towards commitment. 

Have you seen women whose husbands provide them with all the love, care, money and everything but they still end up cheating? And when you ask them why they can’t be faithful to their husband they just can’t give you a concrete reply.  As a husband you have greater influence over the extrinsic factors while the woman has a greater role to play in dealing with the intrinsic factors. She has to build herself to love and respect you. She has to build herself to be faithful to you. You just can’t force her into doing that.

Let’s assume that you just caught your wife with her lover, what would be the best way to handle the situation? After the discovery, you would experience feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment and confusion and it would be wrong to make a decision regarding to the relationship while in such mood.

An unfaithful woman isn’t always a bad woman. Most women who deceive their husbands do so because despite being married they still feel so lonely and abandoned. For some, this feeling was born during a tragedy that happened during their childhood: an illness, sexual molestation, the death of a loved one …etc.

Some also grew up in families where communication was difficult as they felt misunderstood and thought they could not trust anyone. There are some women who saw their mothers being humiliated and abandoned by a man and for that reason they have made up their mind never to be faithful in any relationship even after being married. Such women see the faithful and obedient house wives as weaklings and they aren’t ready for such shitty lifestyle.

Finally, there are those who developed the feeling of loneliness after being disappointed by men in their love life. All these problems negatively affect their marital life and as the woman matures, the first feeling of guilt quickly gives way to the following feeling: “I do not have to answer to anyone, I do not belong to anyone” …  Such women just can’t pretend to be happily married when it is clear that they are not.

 How to Help the Unfaithful Woman

 Now, I guess you wouldn’t want to judge such woman for being unfaithful because deep inside of her there could be a part of her that wishes she was the perfect and faithful wife. Instead as a loving husband you could figure out different ways to help her change into the better person she desires to be.

The first thing to do is to forgive then find out the ways you had contributed to her infidelity. It could be that you were too busy with work and didn’t notice her yearnings for attention. It could be that you only gave her money to buy clothes but never told her how beautiful she looked in those clothes. It could be that you made yourself a lord who sets rules and expects everyone to obey.

The only way to find answers to your questions is through a heart to heart communication. If you want her to completely open up to you then you must play less of the blame game. Piling the blame on her would only squander any opportunity to address her deeper personality issues that contributed to the infidelity.

If you are a husband to an unfaithful woman then the best way to treat her is to love and forgive her always. Loving her unconditionally has a way of remolding her personality into becoming the kind of spouse you wished for. Although, this might not be an easy task but when you have made up your mind to travel on this lane for the sake of love then you could just wake up one morning to see that she’s made up her mind to be yours alone. But if that doesn’t happen and she decides to take a walk through the door never to come back, then you can always move on with your life and sooner than expected someone compatible would come your way.