Why am I his Mistress when I can be his Wife?

I was listening to a radio program one night and the topic that was being discussed was about marriage and infidelity. The presenter had asked a question:

“Why would a lady prefer to be a mistress instead of dating a single man who could marry her?”

When the question was thrown to the audience, a lot of contributions were made. People expressed their views from a different perspective. Most of the married women who called in said the mistresses prefer dating married men because they are greedy individuals who enjoy breaking other people’s homes. Then the mistresses called in and mentioned some of the reasons why they date married men.

Fear of commitment:

While many women spend sleepless nights praying to meet a serious guy who is ready for marriage, some mistresses would prefer not to meet such men.

“I date only married men because I hate being in a committed relationship. A single guy could fall in love with you and expect commitment but if you are the type who hates commitment just like me, it becomes difficult to handle.”

Love for material things:

“Unlike most unmarried guys who give little but ask for too much, married men give much to you and ask for little in return. After buying all the expensive things for you, all they need is for you to be available whenever they are able to sneak away from their wives’ prying eye. So, they often have limited time and when they are gone you would have enough time for yourself.”

Revenge:

It would marvel you to know that there are ladies who prefer being mistresses for the sake of taking revenge.

“My ex-husband had cheated on me with another woman. He asked for a divorce so he could get married to her and after we got separated, I made up my mind to only date married men. Life and love haven’t been fair to me so I don’t care if my actions end up hurting another woman. “

 The deceived mistress:

“Actually, I never thought of being a mistress because when I met him, he told me he was single. There was no wedding ring, no phone calls from his wife and no kids. He was young too so it was easier for me to believe he was single. We started dating and I fell in love with him.

It was only after a year that I found out that he had lied to me. He was already married and his wife and kids lived in another town. Initially, I thought I could walk away but unfortunately, I was already too attached.

I have been his mistress for 3 years and somehow, I have lost the guilt associated with being the other woman.”

Loneliness

This should not be a reason to accept a relationship in which you will be the second option. Has he told you that he would leave his wife and kids just to be with you? What if he’s lying to you?  It is useless to cling to false hopes or dream that you will change everything, because in the long run when your hopes are crashed, you will experience more sadness and loneliness.

THE RISKS OF BEING A MISTRESS

Dating a married man might seem to be the easiest way to satisfy your needs but at the same time, it could leave you with guilt and an unending yearning for true affection. Unlike men, women find it difficult to dissociate love from sex and for this reason a mistress might find herself falling deeply in love with her married partner.

Maybe I should also tell you that most married men make promises that they never intend to keep. I know of a lady who had fallen in love with a  married man. Then her partner promised to marry her but as the years went by, he was always giving different excuses. The lady continued pestering the man to keep his promise but instead of divorcing his wife to marry her, he decided to jilt her and got a new mistress.

Being a mistress makes you lose your self-respect and leaves you with low self-esteem. Have you ever thought of the disgrace you might face when caught by his wife? Mistresses are often haunted by guilt throughout the entire affair and afterward. I know a mistress who claims to have lost every atom of guilt but I’m sure that in her sober moments she would certainly wish that she wasn’t the side chick.

Also, a woman who plays the role of a mistress has an uncertain future. Believe me, if a man was able to be unfaithful to his wife, who is the same woman he had promised to respect and love forever, he will likely do the same to his mistress.

Dear beautiful woman, you must learn to value yourself and wait for your true love instead of chasing an imitation of it. A man who seeks an extramarital relationship often seeks sex, not love. You are worth more than a fling or a one-night stand. Don’t degrade your values for few moments of pleasure. Do not stoop to being “the other” woman.

Before accepting a relationship with a married man always put yourself in his wife’s shoes and ask yourself, what you would feel if another woman was sharing your man behind your back. You can then act based on your answers.