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Why do guys cheat with younger women
Nov
One in five adults in monogamous relationships have cheated on their partner at least once — and married men are more likely to cheat with a younger woman.
The excitement of a new relationship or the high of sexual orgasm drives him to have affairs, even if he considers his marriage to be a happy one. So why do some men prefer to cheat with a younger woman?
The Entitlement Affair
A successful man who is put on a pedestal in his business life may feel that his wife does not appreciate or recognize his achievements or talents. After several years of marriage, she may have a career of her own, or concentrate most of her energy on raising children.
Power can be a real aphrodisiac, says clinical psychologist Stephanie Newman in the “Psychology Today” article “Why Married Men Cheat.” A wealthy, successful man may be faced with greater temptations than the average Joe, says psychologist David Frederick.
[box] The temptation of a young, adoring woman who is at his beck and call and boosts his ego may be too much to resist if the man feels his wife no longer sees lavishes him with the praise and recognition he craves.[/box]The Avoidance and/or Split Self Affair Types
After many years of marriage, a man may not be satisfied by his sex life. Work, children and all the mundane obligations of daily married life, like taking the trash out, cleaning the toilet or nagging the kids to do their chores, may get in the way of a couple’s physical intimacy. His wife may not want to have sexual intercourse as often as he does.
According to a study carried out by Loras College Psychologist Julia Omarzu, sex is the top motivating factor for infidelity within a marriage. Some 44 percent of married men have an affair because they want more sex and 38 percent because they want more satisfying sex, says the MSNCB.com survey.
The younger woman who is in a relationship with a married man, will have her own reasons for justifying her being the “other woman”. The willingness to please the man sexually will ensure the lovers sex life is varied and frequent. The cheating husband logically understands why his sex life with his wife is not the same as once before (with the day to day running of the home, and the building of the family dream) – but still the frill, variety, and excitement gained from the younger woman makes him feel young again too. The wife cannot complete – and nor should she.
The Accidental Affair or the Avoidance Affair
Sex isn’t always the key motivator behind infidelity.
A married man may cheat on his wife if he feels she is not meeting his emotional needs, says Susan Krauss Whitbourne in the article, “The Eight Reasons that People Cheat on Their Partners.” If a man has grown apart from his wife after a long marriage, he may look elsewhere for appreciation, support and encouragement. He wants a woman to desire, flatter and pay attention to him. An affair that combines a strong emotional bond with sexual intercourse is usually the most disruptive type, says the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy.
Men who meet younger women are attracted to the interest level the younger woman has in his life. Their ability to build a bond in a short period has significant meaning to the cheating husband.
It is unfortunate that many married couples do not focus on maintaining the emotional bond – the glue which binds to the strength and happiness of any relationship.
The Sexual Addiction Affair or the Philander Affairs
A married man may be bored and looking for something (or someone) to spice up his life. Some 40 percent of men cheat because they want variety, according to the MSNBC.com survey. A married man may use an affair to measure his sexual prowess, says Whitbourne. If he has had multiple affairs, he may be addicted to love, romance or sex, suggests the American Association for Marital and Family Therapy.
Younger women are also on the hunt for men whom they can have non-emotional sexual encounters. A number of studies, including Alfred Kinsey‘s, have concluded that the average age group in which women are the most active sexually is their mid-thirties, one study liberally estimating 27-45 as the limits of the age group (the average man peaks earlier). Women in this age group typically report having sexual fantasies greater in number and intensity, engaging in sexual activity more frequently, and being more interested in casual sex
See Sex Addiction
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Why is it that this article is primarily targeted at making women or the wife the peeps of blame? The wife might not want sex, her attention is on something else.
How about rephrasing it? The man doesn’t love himself enough that he needs the attention of another person in order to feel valued and as if he is enough because he is constantly putting himself down.
He leaves most of the housework and handling of children to his wife, especially when she works full time. Therefore, she is tired and not in the mood for sex.
Sex drive occurs when someone is at a specific energetic state. Constantly being drained of it because of an unhelping husband is not something that will ever raise her libido. Let’s also consider how fucked up women’s hormones are after birth and doctors solution to that is synthetic hormones, which only tends to make things worse.
Or the fact that women want more sex and the man is not willing to have it anymore with her because he is bored. That boredom is not the woman’s fault but that of the man who is not able to find value in his life nor appreciate the little things.
Pretty much men cheat because they cannot value themselves enough, love themselves enough, feel they are enough in order to value, love or appreciate someone else.
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How do you ladies feel? I’m quite devastated and it happened a year ago. He did it only once (so he says) and the whole age gap is absolutely devastating. I feel not good enough and for the first time in my life I feel old and I’m just 43.
Don’t ever believe when they say they only had sex once,.
Married 32 yrs. I battled the affairs of my husband for the last 7. I’m done. He doesn’t want his marriage , I cannot ‘save’ him as God says. She is an Asian Prostitute from a massage parlor, she’s 33 and he was 56 when this one started. I believe this is a biblical divorce and I have God’s support. My husband is 1 Corinthians 5:5……. very wicked and divorce is a battle, he hides money and lies. But God has battled for me and I have confidence God will go before me. God is truly amazing through all of this!!
Husband 65 cheated with 25 and 28 year old sugar babies. After 30 year relationship.
Jess, I am in the early stage of the same situation. My husband and I are 51. Our 25th wedding anniversary is this October. We have 4 children and I just found out he is cheating and emotionally involved with a 30 year old woman. I am devastated and don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know I have a long road ahead of me. Any advice is appreciated.
My spouse is 52 and having an affair with a 29 year old. Just found out last week. It sucks and so foolishly stupid.
I’m so sorry I feel you on the cheating:( My husband did it 7 yrs ago for a year and I took him back I believe everyone deserves a second chance if proven. I thought he had changed everything was great between us we had been married 20 yrs now this past Aug. well he got into over the road truck driving the last yr and I worried but I trusted him well he had to get on a bus to get to his new Job in Al. well on the bus layover he met a 28 yr old woman with 4 kids and hes in his 40’s and just out of the blue texted me he was never coming back to junk all his stuff that was June its now Oct. and I had not heard from him all I know is he lives out of state somewhere with her and her kids shacked up in a trailer. He left all the bills with me and I lost my place and everything I worked so hard for I took him to court and because he quit his job and is working under table and didn’t show im getting garnished for his bills through my job. I cant even file for a divorce till we been separated a year and even then cant find him since he changed everything when he left. The funny thing about this is we just got back from a 2 week vacation the day before he got on that bus so there was no signs or warning I never thought we were doing bad everything seemed awesome on vacation. I know it has been a rough road these last 4 mths but I have faith in myself I will make it im a strong independent woman and I work hard. Karma will soon catch up to him and all the others that cheat one day!!!! Im just blessed I never had children with him because I would be in a bigger mess then I am. He deserves what he got trailer park trash. I don’t think I will ever date again or get married for that matter I do know he is engaged to her and not even separated from me. Im better off alone at least I know I can trust myself. You need to kick him to the curb now once a cheater always take it from me. Nothing but heartbreak and stress at the end.
I am in a similar situation, what did you end up doing?
My husband is 70. He is having an affair with a 44 year old coworker. I raised this man’s children and kept a house and took him to cancer treatments when he became ill. Because he was in law enforcement I was pretty much alone most of the time.
I am hurt and angry and trying to come to grips with the fact that my 36 year marriage was nothing but a joke. It had happened before but this time is particularly painful because I know who the woman is and this disgusting stuff is going on in the same town where I live and do business. I feel humiliated as it is common knowledge that he has a sugar baby.
I am in therapy and I have a lawyer and financial planner. Two of my physicians are aware of the situation. I have not made a final decision about divorce. I am trying to get myself good and centered first. Divorce at my age is a no-win situation.
I am praying to God to give me strength to deal with this in an appropriate manner.
Say your prayers, build on, ” save a marriage saves a family”. If your husband has been with you this long, he has some commitment and love for you and his family. Do assess your behavior. Are you angry, do you push him away? You are not alone as this is an epidemic due to loss of Christianity and family values. You may want to seek Christian counseling, do not seek counselors who just go by the book. You need to find the lady he married and show him she is still there and work on finding the man you married. May God Bless you both and help you through this and reconcile your marriage and family.
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My husband left me for a 23 year old. He is 45 and they began having an affair when she was 20 going on 21. This has devastated me and our boys. The way a man can say they are in love with a woman who has offered nothing to them but sex is a character flaw in both the cheater and the younger woman. A wife is put under pressure to be responsible for the house, the kids and all their activities, as well as hold down a full time job. The effort that it takes to put into another woman in pursuing her and in cheating with her is effort that could have been put into saving a marriage. All a wife wants is what her husband is now willing to give to another. It is heartbreaking and it not only devastates the wife but also devastates the children. Before cheating or while cheating, take a look in the mirror and ask why do you have this right to do this to another person. Why do you have the right to act like your are unappreciated and unloved. Look at what you are giving to your family. Instead of pulling away and taking the cowards way out, put that focus and energy into the people that should matter most. You choose to love another and hurt those who have stood by your side and love you irregardless of your emotional distance.
I am a 49 yo white male married for 18yrs to an american born korean woman. She is sucessful smart and very beautiful. She is 47. For many years she has been emotionally distant and sexually unavailable. I started going to escorts in frustration and depression. I met many women in their 20s. One Chinese girl (27) and I really hit it off and have been having a sugar daddy/baby relationship for over a year. She is affectionate , considerate, loving and an amazing lover in ways my current wife never was. It has evolved into what I really think is love. I dont want to break up my marriage. I have two boys under 13 . But I genuinely love this girl.
Instead of pursuing another, pursue your wife. Your say she’s emotionally distant but maybe in truth it is you who has pulled away. You’re the one cheating. Grow up and be a man and leave the young girls alone. Take care of your family.
I’ve just found out my husband who I’ve been with for 35yrs has had a 3 month fling with a 24yr girl! He’s full of apologies but my heart is broken, I just want to curl up and die. Please think before cheating it’s soul destroying 🙁
So sorry, prayers to you and that you can get through this. Lean on God, he listens at your most desperate moments.
I’m right there with you
Same situation
My heart is broken but I’m not broken
I agree, this girl is young, you are older, your health will change and so will your looks. Do not confuse love with lust as initial attraction is based on looks first. It is easy to think you love someone when they are not putting any demands on you. Just wait, they will come, her human failures will come out and you will eventually have problems dealing with the daily grind of life, responsibility of support and taking care of the home. Everyone has disagreements, how will you feel about her after real life sets in? You are up in the clouds. Are you willing to throw away a lady who gave you children and has stayed with you and put up with your short falls as you are human, you have faults. Are you willing to lose what relationship you have with your kids? They will grow to resent you, you will not have a relationship with them or their kids some day. Not worth it for lust. Your are willing to destroy your family because you are feeling sorry for yourself and placing yourself first. If you do not have any Christian values, try to get some as this is what true happiness is not a great piece of tail because it looks more appetizing than what you have at home.
Your disgusting , Put that energy into your wife and make that spark come back you will be amazed at the woman she becomes its like getting to know someone all over again
You are da man. I am sick and tired of all these people that freak over an age gap. What do I talk to my 22 y/o GF about, everything (I’m 57). And for you middle age crones that abandon your man for creature comforts, kids and denied us all the sex we wanted the way we wanted, and think we are stuck legally and financially to you, wake up and pay attention, the internet changed everything!!
Your family and friends must be so proud of you
Love your reply “your family and friends must be so proud of you”
Perfect answer! No one will be proud of them. They destroyed one of the most precious things in life… FAMILY. Wait till he gets older and she no longer wants a old man who is 35 years her senior. Oh yeah, that will be real attractive to her ! Haha