As kids, we all had this bad habit of loving a new toy more than the old one. Sometimes, we would cry because we wanted to be given someone else’s toy. But as soon as we got the toy, the love for it faded away. In adulthood, such attitude is portrayed when we cheat in our relationships. It is normal to have the urge to cheat. This urge could come when we meet someone prettier, loving and caring or when we just feel like being crazy.
We often make excuses for infidelity but the main reasons boil down to lack of satisfaction in a partner or feeling the need for more independence. It could also be due to inability to meet one’s intimacy needs which is often visible through poor communication, lack of spark or feeling unloved.
However, some people admitted that they’d cheated on their partner because they were drunk, attracted to someone else, or simply couldn’t resist the excitement or novelty of infidelity and the prospect of someone new. Being married or in love with our partner can’t actually prevent this feeling from showing up. Meanwhile, knowing that our relationship is of outmost importance than some random feelings we ought to put a constant check on our urge so it wouldn’t lead us into complicated situations.
One of the characteristics of an adult is the ability to control our emotions. So, on this article we would be sharing some effective ways of handling the urge to cheat.
Meeting people on daily basis is normal. Sometimes, after an interaction with a person you could get attracted to the person. It could be your neighbor, colleague, or a total stranger. What actually attracts you to a person? Sometimes, it’s their smile, attitude, gesture, or beauty that leaves a reminder in your hearts. Discipline is needed whenever you notice that your feelings for a stranger is becoming erotic. Applying discipline helps you to stick to your present relationship and ignore every side distraction.
2) Tell your partner about it:
There is nothing wrong in telling your partner about your attraction to someone else. An understanding partner would help you to overcome the feelings. Such partner would advise and monitor you while you get over the urge. To some extent, telling your partner about your feelings for a stranger restricts you from yielding to the urge. But when you hide it, you’ll become prone to giving in easily.
If the reason why you’re becoming attracted to someone else is because your partner is too busy to give you the attention, love and care you yearn for, discuss with him. You can spice up your relationship by spending more time and catching fun together.
3) Avoid the temptation:
If you are attracted to someone, avoid unnecessary visitation, conversation and closeness with the person. Some persons still keep an ex as confidant even after they are married. These individuals share their marital issues with an ex and sometimes it could get messy.
Let’s assume that you have a spouse who is incompetent in love making. You are not supposed to share such issues with your ex nor with someone who has feelings for you. This is because things might get out of control and you’ll end up cheating with this confidant of yours. If you don’t want to cheat, avoid every tempting scenario.
4) Talk to a friend:
Do you have a friend that acts like a perfectionist? Call that friend and share your experience with her. When you have developed strong urge to cheat, you might become blinded to the dangers of cheating. Talk to a good friend who would highlight the dangers and make you see reasons why you shouldn’t give in to your lust.
5) Cut down on the hangouts:
Most people cheated because they got drunk in clubs and parties. The euphoria of the moment made them get down with strangers. Only to realize in the morning that it wasn’t worth it. You should minimize your visits to clubs where cheap sex and seduction is a norm. If you must visit those places then ensure to go with your partner. It’ll be easier to resist the urge to cheat when your partner is there with you.
6) Place yourself in your partner’s shoes:
Have you ever loved someone with your soul, body and mind? Let’s say you gave all your trust and suddenly you were disappointed. How did you feel when your heart was broken by the one you loved? It wasn’t a pleasant experience right? Each time you feel the urge to cheat, place yourself in your partner’s shoes. Imagine the heartbreak she would face due to your action. Besides, you wouldn’t want her to cheat on you so don’t dare yield to your urge.
7) Remember the long-term consequences:
It is easy to cheat but handling the consequences is not easy. Many persons have lost their love, relationships, family, friends, marriages and lives due to cheating. In the beginning, when the urge to cheat comes, it could seem harmless but after it has been gratified it leaves a venom that could last for a lifetime. Each time you are faced with such feeling, remind yourself of some of these consequences;
- You could get a sexually transmitted disease which might ruin you if untreated.
- It could result to unwanted pregnancies.
- Someone might try to blackmail you for cheating thereby making you spend money to hide the secret.
- You might lose your marriage. I believe you wouldn’t want to lose your beautiful wife and kids just for a pleasure that gets sour the next morning.
- It leaves you with guilt that haunts your peace of mind.
- Your partner may not trust you again because a broken trust is difficult to mend.
8) End the relationship first:
Not all relationships are meant to last forever so you should always be ready to take a walk when the need be. Let’s assume you have put in your best into your present relationship still you are unhappy because you guys aren’t compatible. Then a new person comes into your life and treats you right. It’s okay to start up a new relationship but break up with the former. It might hurt your partner but it is better and safer to break up than double date.
Have you cheated on your spouse before? What excuse did you give for your actions? Now, let me ask you a salient question. Was the experience worth it? Guess at one point you had wished you didn’t do it because the commotion it caused you wasn’t what you’d expected. Just like cheating is a choice, being faithful is a better and safer choice you should make today. Kindly leave a comment on the different ways you have handled your urge to cheat.