Every woman has a strong desire to find a man that would love and cherish her. Her quest for companionship makes her open the doors of her heart to men. Unfortunately, when some of these men come in, they tend to cause her emotional pains. Due to constant heart breaks, some women have developed a belief that they can’t get that “Perfect” man. So they settle for less than the best and end up living a life full of unhappiness. If you don’t want to be among those women who are sad and enduring their relationships then you shouldn’t start or stay in a relationship with men of the following categories.
1) The abuser:
He flares at every single provocation. Since you started dating him you became his new punching bag. If he hits you once, twice and thrice and you don’t bother to report him to the authorities, it becomes his habit. Would you prefer to sit there, cry and expect his apologies each time he abuses you? Well, he might apologize only to repeat it over and over again. Come on girl, go out there buy him a punching bag and walk out of his life. Besides, some of those guys who hit women can’t even stand a fight with a man.
2) The unpredictable:
He may be your fiancé but you are uncertain of your position in his life. He prefers not to talk about his intentions for the relationship. You can spend many years dating him and expecting the day he says “will you marry me?’. But that day might never come. Such guys usually dump you for another when they are ready to settle down and if you ever confront his actions, he would deny ever asking you to stick around all those years.
The funniest part is when he tells you that he was only catching fun and never saw you as his prospective wife. If from the onset he doesn’t declare his plans for the relationship, don’t waste your time rolling on that roller coaster. Get off and look for someone who is ready to define the relationship you share with him.
3)Relax! All is well :
He is lazy and sleeps all day like a pregnant woman. He is a broke ass nigga who sits at home to complain about how bad the society is but does nothing to improve his situation. All he does is to confess that his tomorrow would be better but puts no effort towards making it better.
He prefers to depend on you to meet all his needs while waiting for that better tomorrow that may never come. The silly part is when he spends your money extravagantly. Meanwhile he is not ready to work for his own money. Flee from such liability before he drains your account, dumps you and moves on to a new catch.
4)“I am just doing you a favor” guy :
Older single ladies usually encounter this kind of guy. To him, dating you is like doing you a favor. He constantly reminds you of how close you are to menopause. He feels if he doesn’t marry you, you might be single for the rest of your life.
Due to desperation to get married, some women tolerate this kind of guy. He abuses and uses them anyhow and might eventually dump them without marrying them. Too bad! You are priceless so you should never let anyone treat you like a worthless commodity. If a man for any reason shows you that “I am only doing you a favor ’ attitude, dump his ass and move on. You can’t find happiness in such relationship.
5)Everything in skirt:
I have this kind of guy as a brother, friend, neighbor, colleague, etc. Just like a person gets addicted to taking drugs, he is addicted to getting down with anything that wears a skirt not minding if the person is ugly, dirty, or sick. He lacks self-control and conscience too. If you accept to date such guy, you would be vulnerable to constant emotional trauma and possible infection. You deserve a man that you won’t have to share with strangers.
6)The deaf and blind :
The deaf man claims to know it all so can’t accept any advice from a woman. He feels women are weak in reasoning and can’t offer any positive suggestion. That is why each time you try to advise him, it falls on deaf ears. The blind man can’t see all the efforts you put in to make the relationship work. Even after you have sacrificed your all, he would still be ungrateful and ask for more. My dear, you don’t need a psychologically disabled man for a partner. If he is not ready to open his ears and eyes then don’t waste your time with him.
7)”I love my mum” guy :
Sometime last year, I counselled a couple. The husband had brought the complaint to me. He wanted to divorce his wife because she shouted at his mother. From the questioning, I found out that she actually shouted at her mother in law because she felt she was interfering in her relationship with her husband.
According to her, the husband was giving more attention to his mother than to her. He often buys presents for his mum and nothing for her. He can spend the whole night talking to his mother on phone. Her main annoyance was that as a couple they had no privacy because he shares everything that happens in their home with his mum.
I had counselled them on how to settle their differences and the guy accepted to loosen his attachment to his mum and get more attached to his wife. Can you handle a mummy’s boy? If you can then you could still stick around with him.
I don’t care if he lies about his age, account balance, past, marital status or his family. A lie is a lie irrespective of the reason for the lie. A relationship built on dishonesty is bound to collapse any time soon. If from the onset of the relationship he flags the lying attitude then I think you need to have a rethink about staying in such relationship. An honest and open man is what you need. Someone you can vouch for.
9)Out of sight, out of mind:
I believe you don’t want to spend your years with a man who only loves and pampers you when you are around and forgets about your existence immediately you are out of his sight. When you are far away, he acts like you guys have no relationship. He is called the moment guy.
My girlfriend had a child for her boyfriend while they were staying together. Each time she travelled to her parents’ house, he would pack and hide all her luggage in the room. He wouldn’t even call her during that period because he would be busy flirting with some new girl.
You don’t need such man because even after marriage, there would be times distance would separate you guys. You need a man who loves, respects and misses you more in your absence. Someone who would wait anxiously to welcome you back after you have been away.
10)Too big to say sorry:
Have you met a guy that doesn’t apologize? If he does something wrong, he prefers to switch the blame to you or someone else so that he wouldn’t apologize. He could be very manipulating too. He is enveloped with pride that gives him a false perfect personality. Trying to win an argument with him is a waste of time. Do you think you can stand a chance with him?
11)Faster than his shadow:
This guy moves like the speed of light. Within few days of knowing him, he has introduced you to all his family members so you can feel comfortable with him. He told you that you are his wife to be even before he knew your name. That could be a trap. He might only want to get into your pants as soon as possible so he devises strategies like flattering, calling, buying gifts and loving you. As soon as he gets what he wants, the pace at which he loves and cares about you drops.
My dear, each time a new guy comes into your life, don’t fall easily for his games instead be that puzzle that he would need time to crack. Fast guys are impatient so they would leave as soon as they realize that you aren’t that type they can use and dump easily.