Have you ever wondered why a happily married couple suddenly decides to end the relationship? This often happens when some wrong attitudes are welcomed into the relationship. These wrong attitudes negatively affect a spouse and the marital bond. Obviously, being a wife/husband does not automatically mean you would know what to do or not do in order to keep the love, peace and understanding in your marriage.

However, common sense would definitely point out some mistakes that should be avoided as these have a way of crashing a happy love story. Let us see some of the wrong attitudes that should be avoided.

Selfishness:

When you got married, you became one flesh with your spouse.  As one flesh you must be willing to share everything with your spouse. There are individuals who got married just for selfish reasons. They expect their spouse to always give them money, love, attention, gifts and everything while they never reciprocate these gestures. Marriage should be a “give and take” relationship but when one person remains at the receiving end, the other becomes deprived.

Lies and Dishonesty:

No! No! No! Keep those lies far away because they can be poisonous to your relationship. Lies and dishonesty steal away trust from the relationship then doubts gradually creep in. Be truthful to your spouse even when it hurts.

One thing about lying is that; a lie often requires another lie to cover up the previous. So the lying never seems to stop until you are caught.

Keeping Secrets:

There are some individuals that are very good at keeping secrets from their spouse. They would prefer to make an outsider their confidant instead of their spouse. That’s not cool. Apart from you, your spouse should be the first person to be accountable for your activities, so don’t keep secrets from him/her. This would help them to handle situations that might arise in your absence.

Unfaithfulness:

An infidelity is perhaps the most serious mistake that can be made in a relationship because it leaves the deceived partner sad, hurt and disappointed. If there is a need to be with someone else, why not quit your first relationship? People handle infidelity differently. While some can forgive and forget, others might go as far as killing a spouse in revenge. What about the trauma the kids might have to suffer because of their parents’ infidelity? Is it worth it? No! I guess.

Unforgiveness:

In every relationship, mistakes are inevitable. I know he’s always pissing you off but just learn to forgive. Holding grudge against your partner especially for little things is not healthy for you and your relationship. Initially, it might seem harmless but when it has accumulated it produces hatred, bitterness and the passion for revenge. Unforgiveness also leads to depression, worry and anxiety whereas forgiveness sets you free completely.

Jealousy:                                                                                                                                         

He spends time with his family and friends and you aren’t okay with it. You should know that he was already attached to these people before he got married to you. No doubt, he might have to reduce the frequency of his interaction with them but don’t force him to do that.

One ridiculous statement most women make is; “It is either your mum or I, so make the choice now!” Waoh! What if he chooses his mum, would you leave him for that?

For a relationship to be healthy, you must accept that he has his friends, family, and hobbies same as you do. So don’t be jealous of the attention he gives to others.

Waiting for a change:

When we get married, we are often tempted to believe that we can remold our spouse into that person we desire them to be.  Some persons actually succeed while others don’t. If you want your man to change, take a seat, sit comfortably and wait for his change.

That change will hardly come! The value of true love is being able to accept your spouse for who he is. If you don’t love him for who he is then don’t start up the “forever” journey with him.

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